Inclusion needs to be repotted in the soil of common sense

I read Haley Flaro’s commentary with her plea not to scrap New Brunswick's system. Children living with challenges to mobility aren’t the main focus in the grand scheme so Ms. Flaro should have no cause for concern. At least we can hope. 

Inclusion isn’t working as well as it could, especially for those children whose challenges compromise their abilities to sit still, to comply with following directions and following rules, and not all of them have impediments to freedom of physical movement. Their deficiencies in those skillsets that actually compromise acquisition of knowledge frustrate the learning processes of the entire class as well as the teacher who is forced to wear several hats at once.That is the reality that classroom instructors face each and every day. It’s not fair.

For decades, educating the differently able, who often have depressed learning capabilities, has been a challenge to our Department of Education, school administrations and those on the front lines — the teachers.  

We must not forget the impact that forcing an inclusion model to fit in a space where it will never fit has on those among us who have no voice — the students themselves. 

Students who are intellectually advanced and require a curriculum that caters to the demand of their insatiable desire to learn get easily frustrated at being forced, yes, forced to slow down so that those who lag, through no fault of their own, can stay connected to the group. Not fair to either. Lots of children with challenges to mobility are of average or above average intelligence; they don’t need sound arms and legs to be gifted in maths, science, language arts and so on. What they need is a landscape that is as architecturally accessible as possible so that they may experience greater participation in those things that other students with no such challenges do with ease. That is a component of inclusion that must remain front and centre.

The ramifications of failing systems go beyond the poor test scores and classroom behaviour and it’s abundantly clear that a change needs to happen now, with no more time and money spent pondering how to tweak a plan that just won’t work. Spend both where they will work.

It’s time for common sense to prevail so that children will stop being punished and be able to get on with their job — the job of becoming accomplished and successful students to the best of their ability in environments that will meet their needs in the long-term. Short-term ‘bandaid’ solutions serve no one and cost everyone.

This forced compliance to stay the course with a model that won’t work is wasting valuable time and resources. Not to be forgotten is the essential waste of taxpayer dollars plodding along with continued failing grades in maths and science, and abyssmal literacy scores. The message these results send is clear - time for a change all around.

Efforts to improve the chances of successful inclusion actually begins in the home, with parents being as proactive and involved in their child’s life as they can be with regard to meetings special needs while the child still spends most of his time with the parent, in the home. Readying the child for the outside world, the real, the messy world, is the job of parents. Doing their part early on allows teachers to better gauge what the child will need within the 4 classroom walls.

For far too long, people have been locked into the notion that separating those with different learning styles, often coupled with behaviour problems and/or challenges to mobility is unacceptable given the goal of mainstreaming is inclusion. Take a step back and see what that rigid position is doing to the children. Because they just don’t get it, some children will become more frustrated and act out. The teacher, reacting or sometimes over-reacting, lowers the boom and unwittingly escalates the situation. 

Having free-standing learning centres, either on or off campus allows students who may become ‘at risk’ out there in the world, to thrive in a non-threatening, less pressured environment — allowing them to be who they’re meant to be stimulates learning opportunities across a number of disciplines. What could be better than that?

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

A Minister of Loneliness would be a step in the right direction

       Some weeks ago, as I was reading about Britain’s Prime Minister Theresa May’s appointment of a ‘minister of loneliness’, my thoughts were drawn back to an event from my past in which I and young man from the UK became part of an ‘international incident’ over a game of scrabble.

John Elliot, age 24 in 1997 and living with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy, was involved in a lively round of the popular word game with me when he had a muscle spasm and was flung forward out of his wheelchair, striking his head and becoming unconscious. A mad scramble to get him help ensued in what became our “15 minutes of fame” as media outlets in Canada, the US and the UK picked up the story.

On more than one occasion I had advised John to secure his lap harness to avoid the very thing that caused his tumble while we were in game. We, he and I, and others in like circumstance, can’t know when our brain is going to hiccup and cause us to go into spasm. It’s for that reason that, because I still walk, aging with spastic diplegic cerebral palsy,  I turn the phone ringer off when I’m on the move. Startling sounds can cause a loss of balance. Safety first!

In 1997, John Elliot lived alone and the internet, with its Internet Relay Chat and other such tools of text-based communication, were his connection to social interaction as he wasn’t able to readily get out and about in his "real" life. John was not alone in using the Internet for such a purpose. Sadly, for some, it is their only connection with human beings. People never to be met in person so there’ll never be opportunities for up close and personal exchanges over a coffee or a meal.

Appointment of a Minister of Loneliness makes a lot of sense but only if there’s follow through on developing and maintaining various programs of care and assistance to those who are in most need. Our province would benefit from such an intervention on behalf of the often disenfranchised such as many persons with disability and the elderly are.

Did the Internet save John's life, as many suggest it did? John was in no immediate physical danger as it turned out, but the fact that he was alone and suffered a shock to his system was frightening enough. The tools that were used to stay connected to John and get him the help he needed are tools that more and more persons with disability are using today to keep them connected. But there needs to be more. Community leaders must become more proactive and work to develop mechanisms that connect the isolated to the community. 

Certainly the internet provides a link to humans, but there needs to be a link to humanity and humaneness up close and personal in the form of people we can actually see breathing; people with whom we may share a meal or a movie, or a drive in the country.  The socially isolated need all of those things, every now and then, to stay physically healthy, to stay mentally healthy and engaged. To stay involved in life and living. 

Over the past few decades, I’ve read copious literature about the cause and effect of isolation amongst infants, youngsters and older children with disability, with children in care experience varying degrees of failure to thrive; some actually die. Parents who adopt such deprived children have a tough road ahead. They, too, could benefit from a Minister of Loneliness.

More and more, people are experiencing periods of isolation with far more frequency. Sadly, those living right under their noses, the neighbour across the street, the neighbour next door, the neighbour two houses away may have no idea. Would it make a difference if they did? I should like to think it would. I should like to think that if Mr. Jones realised that Mrs. Baker hadn’t been out to the store in a month, he’d step in and offer a helping hand. 

Imagine going weeks without contact with anyone. Think about what that deficiency in your world would mean to you. It’s not just the elderly or disabled who are lonely. Very often, their caregivers are isolated, too. Caregiving is not easy and people who take on that role are often same age-spouses/partners, close in age siblings, or elderly parents of disabled adult children. The numbers are growing and the needs are many and they aren’t going away. Loneliness affects every facet of one’s being and as much as one may try to minimize its impact in their lives, there is no denying that being lonely can and does make us sick.

Lives can change by reconnecting people, both young and old, with their communities which concurrently improves their overall health through more sustained interactions with others. So you see, what goes around really does come around.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

What I’ll be doing to make 2018 a very good year

“When I was 17, it was a very good year”. Isn’t that always the way with a popular song archived in our memories.  Then reality waves its not so magic wand and we are brought to our senses and realise that along with the ‘very good’, were some absolutely horrendous times in our lives that we try to forget. 

As we settle in to the first months of a brand spankin’ new year, it might be helpful for us to have a master plan with a few ‘to do’ things noted. My very mild OCD compelled me to pick an even number; 4 things! Going with five, however, helps me with my own ‘to do’ list — to be less focused on ‘a place for everything and everything in it’s place’. So, 5 it is!

My free time is not always ME time. Though I am somewhat restricted with regard to getting out and about, especially in the winter months, I occupy myself with an array of mental aerobics since the physical ones are not so much a part of the landscape of my world in snowy weather. 

I am quite physically active; in fact, by virtue of constraints imposed by spastic diplegic cerebral palsy, I am possibly more physically active than lots of people. How can that be, you ask? Well, it’s simple — it takes a considerable amount of energy for me to vacuum, to dust, to keep floors clean, to look after pets, to prepare meals. The list of oft-repeated daily chores seems unending. While you may expend fifteen minutes worth of energy doing a particular task, I’d expend the equivalent of one hour of energy in the same amount of time doing the same chore. Then it’s smoothie time to replenish the reserves to carry on with my daily ‘to do’ list.

I’m all about food and healthy eating so bulk cooking and baking will always be number one for me; I’m rarely at a loss for prepared meal choices. Tonight, it’s lasagna - made, cut in portions and frozen a few weeks ago, along with a small salad and a slice of home made herb bread. As well, there’s always a slice of this and a container of that to share with my dinner and a movie pal. Spending time in my world  has expanded her palate. 

Next is keeping my home tidy and clean; I’m a room by room tidier upper, carrying all the tools for that task in a little plastic waste basket. In the bathroom, I fill the sink with hot water and liquid surface cleaner, swish cloth around and off I go, cleaning fixtures. With a 2nd cloth swished in that same hot water, I wipe the floor, from corner to corner, on my hands and knees. Nothing like giving the spine a good stretch so that I can carry on with other chores. 

As a senior with aging pets, it is important for me to ensure that my home is well maintained and pleasant for not only my enjoyment, but also for visitors. I discovered a great cleaning tip, ideal for those with aging dogs (and possibly cats) in a home that has carpeting in various areas. Mr. Digby has the occasional accident, often in the same spot that was visited by a previous canine occupant, a Cairn terrier. 

After drawing up as much of the offending liquid as I can with paper towel, under the watchful eyes of the tenacious one, I fire up the heavy artillery - a wet/dry vac. A bit of boiling water onto the spot, followed by a spritz of vinegar is sucked up; to finish, into a small plastic waste basket I blend a few shots of Tide liquid laundry detergent with really hot water, and using a brush, I clean up a D-dude piddle spot. Works like a charm. Another spritz of vinegar acts as a deterrent — most of the time. What can I say? Mr. Digby is almost 15 years old so lapses are inevitable. Cleaning up after the hairy little old man keeps me in shape, though I sometimes wonder what he’d do if I replaced the living room carpet with laminate. While I’m on my hands and knees, he can’t help wandering right in front of me to stick his tongue up my nose. I know what you’re thinking.

I should point out that I’m not one of those eccentric dog ladies whose creatures have overtaken the home. Their presence contributes to my overall health and wellness and I enjoy their daily antics — ensuring that they are healthy and happy is a duty I owe them. Having a pet to care for is therapeutic and I and the canine contingent look forward to a great 2018 here at Chez Rockwell. 

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

Pride goeth before a slip and fall

No doubt you’ve heard the expression ‘getting old isn’t for sissies’.  Getting old, for one having lived a life impacted by disability, as is the case for me, is no easy feat but I’m hanging in there.

I see lots of people my age who are aging badly when there is another way  — a better way. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling anyone how to live their life, but it really does make me wonder why people abuse their body to the point of ill health, creating sometimes irreversible situations. 

On a daily basis, many eat unhealthy food that, to be honest, cannot be called food at all. Marketing ploys hook us with the promise of ‘the best tasting’, or ‘will leave you wanting more’. It’s actually consuming more that gets us into trouble.

Filler food, as I call it, because it it fills in around the stomach, the hips, the derriere, the neck, and has no nutritional value. To compound the state of unwellness, exercise is ignored. Even a daily walk would go a long way to improving health and wellness.  Those compromised by a gut full of visceral fat and that extra chin along with pain in the hips and ankles need to get serious about assessing what they’re doing to their body. Also critical is sufficient hydration which enables all parts of the body to work together; like a well-oiled machine, parts have to be maintained. Visceral fat is dangerous — a form of gel-like fat that's actually wrapped around major organs, including the liver, pancreas and kidneys. Do you see yourself in that description? Are you going to do something about it?

Stand in front your mirror stark naked and take a good long look. What do you see? What would you want to change, knowing that only you can make the changes? Choose 2 lifestyle habits. Two is do-able.

Youngsters being diagnosed with adult-onset diseases is a scary reality and those rising numbers contribute to the population of unhealthy and ‘at risk’. Those numbers must come down and parents have a duty to say no; “No, you may not go to McDonald’s. You’re staying in for dinner and you’ll eat what the rest of us are having. Period.”  Cook the family meal together, plan menus. Let’s get healthy.

The adults in the home need to pull themselves up by the proverbial bootstraps and accept that their chaotic life style and life choices may well be killing them. Children learn what they live and if examples set by parents are rooted in a series of bad choices, day after day, their problems are no longer just their problems. They’re everyone’s problem. With a commitment to making changes, problems will go away or at the very least their impact will be minimized. 

Recently, several of my friends became grandparents, some for the first time and a few others are enjoying their 2nd and 3rd grandchild. Are they rethinking lifestyle choices? Choices that will no doubt impact the quality and the length of the time they enjoy with those little people in their world. Will they get naked and stand at the mirror to give their bodies a long, hard look. They might not want to, but they must. 

In a way, I’m at an advantage as I approach my 64th year. Living with the challenges of an awkward gait and poor balance, I’ve adapted my environment to my needs from the get-go so I’ve always been ready for the slowing down that often comes with 6 decades of living.

I can’t let pride get in my way with regard to my health/wellness and safety, so if I need help with something I know I cannot do or should not do, I ask for it. As I was contemplating the deconstruction  of Christmas aka taking it all down and putting it all away, I became mentally overwhelmed. Most of you are able to walk and carry things with both hands. I don’t  have that luxury. Yes, it is a luxury. I have to carry an  item with one hand and use my other to balance. I got smart with table top Christmas ornaments. Those in the TV room, I put on the seat of the walker and pushed it to the kitchen gate where they were transferred to a dining chair. That chair was then rolled into the spare room, with Mr. Digby in hot pursuit. He watched as I returned the festive collectibles to the shelf in the closet. I repeated the chair transfer with ornaments in the living room. Other collectibles I was able to get downstairs to the cubby under the stairs, again, using only one hand to carry.

The tree’s still up in the TV room. I’m thinkin’ Christmas in July. 

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

Helping hands make for happy holidays

In the words of Jean Vanier “the health of a community can be measured by the quality of its welcome of the unexpected visitor or of someone who is poor, by the joy and simplicity of relationships between its members, by its creativity in response to the cry of the poor.”

Those new to our province who will be experiencing their first  or even a second holiday season in New Brunswick would benefit immeasurably from a helping hand, a guiding hand to lead them  in joining in celebrations of the season. 

Initially, our cold climate may keep people not used to it inside. Moving from warm climes to our sometimes deep freeze winter temperatures is quite an adjustment; coping with it can be expensive if one doesn’t have the necessary clothing - coats and hats, scarves, boots, gloves and mittens. Then there’s the added expense of winter heating. 

Make a date with your closets, grab some boxes and fill them up. What you haven’t worn for two winter seasons would be appreciated by those who have little or nothing. Gather a group of friends to do a purge of your childrens’ closets while you’re at it. Gently used clothing is always welcome by those who have such needs. Make a day of it and bake cookies while you’re at it; creating that holiday spirit is easy once you make the decision to jump in and do it. Inviting a few of those neighbours new to your block to participate in the festivities is a great way to get to know folks you may not have previously taken time for.

When you meet the needs of another, whether known to you or not, you are also nourishing yourself. 

Volunteerism is still alive and well, but it needs constant nurturing. If you have time to spare out of your busy daily schedule to contribute to the emotional health and wellness of others, then do it  — do it for you and do it for them. Making a connection with a new neighbour from another part of the world is a start. Showing them around the neighbourhood, learning about their culture while they learn about yours allows for personal growth. These connections are also ideal ways for children to experience many different things, and that my friends, has an added benefit. It breaks into the bully cycle that seems pervasive in our culture. When children are able to emulate positive role models, they appreciate the differences and differentness of others around them and grow into a pattern of giving and sharing.

This time of year we are most immediately alerted to the needs of those who are less fortunate; The Salvation Army kettles, fund raising efforts of service clubs, turkey drives, and so on. The needs march on each and every day not just at holiday time. Food bank shelves require ongoing replenishment to meet increased demands as more people are relying on them through no fault of their own; the number of children in poverty is significant and your helping hand closes the gap. Stocking the shelves is no more important than at this time of year so that families on the fringes will feel somewhat more included than they otherwise would without access to the ‘safety net’. What must not be forgotten is that our contributions all year long ensure that those among us who are struggling don’t have to work so hard to make ends meet, forced to decide between heating and eating. You and your contributions do make a difference.

As well, lots of school children don’t always have the full complement of supplies that will allow them to complete the daily requirements on par with peers who have no such deficiencies of tools and accessories. Perhaps you and your family or a group of your friends could fill in the gaps by getting in touch with schools in your area to find out what their needs are. Teachers routinely spend their own money to ensure that the students who are at risk won’t stand out any further because they ‘don’t have’. There’s a lot of behind the scenes giving going on by teachers all across this province; without their contributions, the entire class suffers.  Teachers do worry about what happens to Jack or Janice when they go home at the end of the day. While they’re grading papers, they may wonder if those children had enough to eat on the day they took a critical test.

Just as the teachers do, you could establish a group and create more networks of silent partners to buoy ‘at risk’ children, by organise drives to collect school related items all year long and then distribute them to classroom teachers. Contributions to literacy with age appropriate books that children may take home as their own would also be welcome. Again, make a few calls and find out where your hands may help.  

Across time, helping hands grow communities.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

A new year is a chance to do better, to be better

Entering my 64th year as a person living with since birth disability, I must give myself a pat on the head and even a pat on the back; I’m quite flexible. I’m still uprightly mobile and able to function totally and freely in my home with little requirement for outside help, though I conceded several years ago to having someone come in from time to time to help with deep/heavy cleaning. I’m not one to be overly foolhardy, though I have tested the limits of my abilities a time or two. Thankfully, I was none the worse for wear.

That brings me to how things are for me now and going forward. Several weeks ago, I had a conversation with my doctor about pain, specifically pain in my lower back. I was having extreme difficulty putting one foot in front of the other along with an inability to  bend down to pick up the dogs’ food bowls or safely getting into my therapy tub. Anything that involved bending or lifting the legs was very painful. A intestinal issue thought to be contributing to the problem was resolved with a drugstore over the counter treatment. Additionally, the doctor prescribed a muscle relaxant. I looked at the dosage, and given it causes drowsiness, I decided to take only 1/2 the tablet at bedtime; the pharmacist agreed with that course. It’s a good thing I lowered the dose because I slept in 3 hours later than usual after the first 1/2 tablet. That’s been the case since starting this short term, no refills, prescription drug. My sleep-ins have impacted the dogs’ schedule, with elder statesman not being  happy and making sure that I know exactly how he feels. Let’s just say that he’s all about contributing to  ‘make work’ projects just for me.

Secondary implications of cerebral palsy can include a range of arthritic conditions and postural changes that impede freedom of movement.  For that reason, I do a lot of stretching exercises. I learned years ago never get out of bed quickly — been there, done that. I got lightheaded instantly but had the wherewithal to wait it out until my sensibilities were restored before standing. My brother-in-law actually fell doing that very thing. So, each morning, I sit on the edge of the bed for a few minutes before standing. As well, I have bedroom furniture arranged in such a way that I always have something to touch for balance.  While I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, I do a few spine and leg limbering exercises. I encourage people 40+ to engage in soft/passive exercises each morning before starting the day, given that rush-rush first thing in the morning is not conducive to health and wellness and may impact the rest of your day. Slow `n steady gets you further and all in one piece.

A daily thyroid medication and the short term use of a muscle relaxant is the extent of my ‘doctor drugs’ regimen. A few other prescription medication are used ‘as required’ and that is very infrequently. Pain relievers of choice are a therapy tub sessions and use of a heated bag which contains buckwheat. As I still walk, most of my pain is of the wear and tear variety with the spine having a constant dull ache. I’m proactive  and do a lot of stretching exercises with a favourite being similar to what a cat does — fully outstretched on the floor, palms down, then arch the back and go into a sit position, until the buttocks touch the heels. I do this several times a day. This single exercise has contributed significantly to my overall wellness. The dogs like to help.

My point in sharing this bit about myself is to remind you that there are many things you can do each and every day to improve your level of wellness, of health. Those things you do to enhance the quality of your daily life contribute to a reduction of often unnecessary visits to the ER, and admissions to hospital for unspecified illness/condition. Often, people, especially those who are socially isolated, become unwell to the point of hospitalization because they are, in a word, lonely. They are in need of a good dose of people contact. 

Becoming your neighbour’s keeper is as easy as dropping in with coffee and doughnuts. Make a point to connect with 2 or 3 people on the street where you live known to have limited community access. If and when you are able, include them on a few outings. Encourage your friends to ‘adopt’ a few seniors who are isolated. Their health will improve and that means they’ll rely less on the ER coffee klatch which saves money in the health care pot; money that can perhaps be re-routed to more at home programs for seniors. A win-win for all!

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

Even the bullies are lonely

Much has been written about bullying, about loneliness, about isolation, about being alone. Being alone and being lonely are not synonymous; however, being a bully and being isolated have potential to be  significant problems for anyone who uses the ‘big bat’ of bullying behaviour to get what they want or what they think they want or what they believe is there right to have. Often, the true bully has no filter, running roughshod through life, consequences be damned. One may question whether the behaviour is learned or if one is born to bully; a genetic flaw that shapes a person from cradle to grave.

Our schools have had to cope with bullies of all ages and stages, from kindergarten to twelfth grade and beyond. Teachers make every effort to respond to concerns in a timely fashion, whether it’s having conversations with the bullying student to meeting with parents to discuss ways to correct behaviour. Where to start? Where did the problem originate? Can we know that? Does it begin at home? Is the bully born within the blending of genetics, or is the bully designed by circumstances that are perceived as negative to his/her own agenda?

In school, the bully reign may last for a few years or for several, as they develop skilful ways to hide who they really are. They torment just enough to make a point to their targets, often having a list of regulars; the easy marks. But then something happens - many targets grow up and develop a maturity that allows them to stand up and defend themselves. But what about the rest? Will they always be victimised by the bully? What about the bully? Yes, bullies can outgrow the behaviour that puts almost every aspect of their life into chaos.  It requires a commitment to change and it requires that teachers and others accept the sincerity of the attempt to make changes, lending support as and when required.

There are lots of great teachers in our school, often going quietly about the business of parenting children who are struggling. Being the second Mom or Dad for one who may not be fully or ever available in the home, the home room teacher is often the first line of defence - the beacon in the storm for the struggling child; the bully, needs help but just doesn’t know how to ask for it. 

Sometimes bullying stops without intervention when the behaviour stops paying off. Sadly, though,  some bullies will continue to relate to the world that way all their lives because they never learn to behave differently. No one holds up a mirror to them so they can see what is happening because of their behavior.

Contrary to popular belief, the bully is not necessarily the biggest or strongest boy or girl in the class.  The bully may often seem to be very demure and gentle and it can come as a shock to the teachers and/or parents to find that this child is bullying someone.  Often bullying children are seeking attention due to a lack of love, support and/or attention from their parents.   Are they being bullied in the home? The bully may then believe that bullying is an effective and acceptable way to get people to do their bidding. Bullying can result from the bully being jealous or resentful of the victim – perhaps they have attentive parents and the bully does not, perhaps the victim is a high achiever at school and the bully feels inadequate in his/her own school work. The reasons are manifold.

Who is the typical victim of bullying?  Again, we perhaps envisage the fat child, the child who wears big glasses, the ‘geek’, the child with obvious physical or intellectual challenges, and so on. This is incorrect.  The truth is that there is no ‘typical’ victim.  A bully has no justification in his/her actions and so nothing sets the bullied child apart as being typical or deserving of the bullying.  Bullying is completely unjust and the victim, while they often blame themselves, is in no way to blame for the bully’s behaviour. 

Holding a bully accountable has to be handled delicately in some cases as the ‘adult in the room’ must not lose sight of the possibility that the bully is also a victim; a victim behind closed doors in a home that may be totally dysfunctional or one that presents with just enough ‘normal’ to avoid scrutiny by authorities in positions to intervene. Secrecy keeps the cycle going.

In todays world of social networking sites, twitter and tweets, and the concurrent anonymity that goes with those venues, parents and other adults need to be watchful for changes in the child who is drifting into the bully zone, whether as victim or perpetrator of mean behaviour. School administrations could develop chat sessions on a regular basis; assembly-style gatherings where students may voice concerns. An ‘open door’ policy to dialogue is critical.

You, too, can lend your ear to a child in trouble who just needs to be heard. 

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca