“Canada is having a foster care crisis, with so few people willing to serve that one province is preparing to house infants in group homes if necessary,”says Maureen MacEwen, Provincial Co-ordinator for P.E.I. Child Protective Services. A sad commentary on how significantly this ‘social program’ has deteriorated, but it’s been simmering dry for years. It was inevitable.
Rather than ‘group homes’, how about homes for groups? In order for it to work, to be sustainable, the ‘group’ needs to be distanced from the ‘home’. Why does there have to be a special, distinct, separate designation at all? Labeling only serves to make children in such circumstance stand out and get noticed — often not in a good way. The negative connotation is an historical one that has lingered.
In the 70s, ‘group home’ was a label, a name assigned to a home where the ‘mentally retarded’ lived. Over time, terminology changed but the prevailing attitudes still existed. So while it’s all well and good for the government to consider placing infants who are in foster care into ‘group homes’, there should be serious thought given to a long-term plan. Children, no matter the age, cycling around the foster care system from one ‘home’ to another, weeks at a time, months at a time, a few years at a time, has never been the ideal. Lack of continuity of care does cause emotional trauma as has been demonstrated. There is no need to throw money at more studies to prove the proven. Put the money where it’s needed - into HOMES; not just structures to ‘house’ children in need, children in crisis.
Children go into care for many reasons — it’s a sad reality that many cannot go back to the house where the biological parent(s) live, but the system sometimes seems to miss the mark when stepping in to remove a child or children from the biological family. Certainly, the child’s welfare is critical, but there needs to be a stronger emphasis on correcting what has gone wrong with the parenting/caregiving. Do the parents want help? Will they accept help that’s offered and follow through and not just go through the motions to ‘get the kid back’? A child is not a piece of property to be passed around like an ugly piece of furniture no one really wants, but someone will take it, even if only to fill that corner of the living room until something better comes along. Again, a sad commentary on our ‘throw away’ society.
If parents in crisis were buoyed up to the point where they could stand on their own, moving forward, there’d in all likelihood be fewer children ‘in care’. If, without judgment, they were shown how to guide their children with less stress and less mess, the entire family dynamic has potential to change and self-correct. Not unlike many families outside the view of government scrutiny. Lives of families all across Canada go on, day after day as Moms, Dads, brothers and sisters live, work and play and parenting styles and welfare of children are not questioned. That’s the way life has rolled along for centuries.
For some families, something gets fractured and outside help is needed, sometimes court sanctioned. Given that children learn what they live, parents with proper tools have a chance to break a cycle and with that the notion of the ‘bad kid’ label fades. When parents who want to learn and grow see the fruits of their labour manifesting in the forward-moving behaviour of their children, all are winners. Instead of the ‘system’ patting themselves on the back, social workers and others need to respectfully acknowledge the efforts of parents and children in crisis. There’s too much focus on what’s wrong and not enough on what’s right and good.
If the parental unit is irrevocably broken, then a long-term ‘forever home’ elsewhere would be pot of gold for children in need. We hear so much about animal shelters wanting ‘forever homes’ for dogs and cats available for adoption. If children cannot be adopted, for whatever reason, would they not be better served in long-term home life situations, rather than short-term ‘foster’ care? Would studies to look into repurposing vacant buildings/heritage properties across the country have merit?
Imagine being in a foster home and 3 days before Christmas, you’re moved. No explanation. Then April rolls around and you’re moved again, out of the district, with a different school Starting over. Then again in July! Multiply that scenario by thousands of kids every year, and we see a very serious problem. No wonder foster kids have a difficulty with trust and can’t settle in to ‘good’ behaviour, often falling onto the path of drug addiction, promiscuity, unwanted pregnancies, as history repeats itself. It’s time to change the care plan and explore the potential for success of a home for ‘a group’ - a group of youngsters that can, with supports become a family. ‘He doesn’t look like me, but he’s my brother!’
Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca
