Make your ‘just a minute’ count each and every day

“Lost time is never found again.” Benjamin Franklin’s words are just as relevant today as when he first said them.

How many years got away from us, with opportunities missed? Opportunities to do it better. Do our part. Pull our weight. Help and be helped.

Some may feel their contribution would pale in comparison to that of others but how would they know if they don’t get out there? Those who hang back, uninvolved, may well shine in the realm of community service, finding it brings to them something that was missing in their lives.

If you express your own feelings about caring and sharing, isolation and abandonment, others might decide to get involved and participate in being part of a change in your shared community, beginning within their own lives, with those near and dear and with those who are near  — the neighbour they really don’t know, the aftershool program that could use extra volunteers to help children with reading, the local hospital that is always seeking extra pairs of hands to do this or that, the community sponsored suppers that always need potato peelers and salad makers. The list of what you CAN do is endless. The list of what you SHOULD do rests with you and your conscience.

Along with aging citizens, we are province of  declining population growth rate. That being so, the need for people to serve, to assist those who are less able to meet their own daily needs, is at a critical mass. If you’re sitting home alone and are able to get out and about, DO it. Find out what’s going on  in your community and see where you might fit. Ultimately, what stops you is YOU!

For myself, giving comes in a form that is somewhat unique, due in large measure to the implications of my own life circumstances. I write. I write about what I know and I write about what I live and I may very well be a voice for many out there who are in a similar situation with regard to lack of access. Perhaps my written voice gives them the courage to finally speak up, to finally stand up and ask for help when needed.

Within the parameters of my online presence, I make myself available to assist young  parents with writing letters requesting devices and services necessary to improve the quality of life for their youngster with disability. I help parents through the maze of often confusing jargon aka gobbledy-gook when they get another denial letter from an agency they thought would help them. The ‘blue book’ needs to be rewritten to accommodate the real needs of real people. Yet again, to repeat an oft-used phrase - ‘one size does NOT fit all!’.

The gift of availability can be transmitted from one person to another, bringing a community to life, whether that community is online or in our daily touch it, feel it, hear it lives.

One couple I’ve ‘known’ online for several years demonstrates clearly the importance and the  need for more neighbourliness. As my online friend says, “we have been isolated by our very ‘composition' by virtue of accommodation.  We have always been blessed with at least a couple of friends or neighbors who accepted us, but we always had to make the most effort.”

Her husband of over 20 years, is a vent dependent quadriplegic. Injured in a high school football game in his teens, he’s been a quad for over 40 years! Imagine it! Forty plus years of not being able to do almost all the things that we so easily take for granted. Over the course of their marriage, they were Mom and Dad to several chosen children who, sadly, have passed away; all had challenges to daily living. Quite frankly the fact that this couple has to ask for help is beyond sad and unfortunate. It’s just wrong! 

All around us are folks who used to ask for help but felt they were imposing and stopped asking, plodding along — sometimes to their detriment. 

Plodded along until the day when the old man who lives across the street from you fell off a ladder while changing the battery in his smoke alarm. One of those ‘shoulda’ moments you missed. “I shoulda gone over to ask Mr. Jones if he needed help,” you said to yourself. Now he’s in the hospital with a broken hip and has developed an infection. How long does it take to change a smoke alarm battery?

Living with disability is not pretty and growing old is not fun. Asking for help is a tough pill but we have to swallow our pride and just DO it if we are to be safe. Will you DO your part in your community, on your street, to ensure that a neighbour in need stays safe? Perhaps that will be your next ‘just a minute’.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

Teaching our children well goes beyond classroom curriculum

       

       

According to German author, Jean Paul, “the conscience of children is formed by the influences that surround them; their notions of good and evil are the result of the moral atmosphere they breathe.”

Take a moment and re-read those words and think about what they mean. Think about what they meant when you were growing up, when you were raising children, when you’re influencing grandchildren.

Now, think about all those children who grew up and are growing up without many or no positive influences to guide them and help set their ‘moral compass’ and build an emotional quotient. Today’s latchkey children are in trouble, people. They are barely getting by because there is not enough consistency with active adults in their world doing what needs to be done. Children were not meant to parent themselves.

Then, think about 12 such children with no on track moral compass in a classroom joined by10 others who have been schooled, coached, encouraged, included, praised and gently pushed into being productive, contributing little citizens in their communities. Each of them, in a second grade class, sitting at a desk, with the adult standing at the front of the room. She calls out the class list. All present and accounted for; the lesson begins. It was to be a math lesson with a counting game and flash cards and M&Ms. The teacher referenced Tiny Tim and Christmas and being poor and how much things cost in the days of A Christmas Carol. Most 7-8 year olds know about Tiny Tim.

Three of the children who’ve not yet mastered the ‘sit down and sit still’ MO of classroom etiquette are up and wandering around at the back of the room; one of them is playing with a truck and the other 2 want a turn zoom, zoom, zooming it on the floor. Did they forget that class is in session? The teacher quietly makes her way to the three ‘lost little lambs’ and herds them back to their seats, picking up where she left off. Ten minutes have passed while she was talking about the story of Tiny Tim, with many hands raised anxious to ask their question. One of the three didn’t raise his hand. He just blurted out a question while standing up by his seat, pulling on his sweater and weaving back and forth. He was asked to ‘sit down, please’, but he was having none of it. Off he went to go through a box of games the teacher made available for children staying in at recess. Again, he was asked to take his seat. He started screaming. The entire class collapses into chaos. Has the teacher lost control? Hmm.

The teacher does something totally unexpected; she takes her chair and puts it into the corner and sits down, facing into the wall. All goes quiet. The children who were disrupting the lesson are back in their seats. Waiting. She continues to sit, not moving. Silence!

After what seems ages, the teacher turns around, facing the class, to let them know that the  children who would not sit down really hurt her feelings. She tries so hard to make their days fun and interesting and it’s hurtful when some of the children won’t sit down and paticipate. She realizes that some children learn by being busy and noisy and into everything, but part of the lesson requires that they sit still. She would rather have the days filled with different types of learning but she has rules to follow; a curriculum. She turned to face the corner again. She waited. More time for everyone to settle.

Across the province and across the country, teachers are faced with numerous challenges that fall outside the realm of curriculum delivery. The emotional health of certain children in their class may sometimes dictate course direction and/or correction.  Meeting their needs with a unique teaching method is a way to educate the entire class. There’s method in the madness.

The teacher’s plan to have a math lesson was shelved; instead she opted to have a discussion — a discussion about feelings. The unsettled children were asked to form a circle and the others joined. Each in their turn, starting with the ones who couldn’t sit still, was asked what they did that morning before coming to school. The mornings for a few of the children didn’t get off to a good start. Those who received positive regard from Mom and Dad offered some advice. The teacher sat quietly and listened to the unfolding lesson as children exchanged experiences and feelings and ways to make things better for tomorrow.

Teaching and learning isn’t always about sit down and sit still so when the situation warrants devoting the entire class time to sharing feelings, that’s the way to go. Ultimately, it will have more staying power than learning  the multiplication tables. There’s time for 9x8 another 

day.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca