“Lost time is never found again.” Benjamin Franklin’s words are just as relevant today as when he first said them.
How many years got away from us, with opportunities missed? Opportunities to do it better. Do our part. Pull our weight. Help and be helped.
Some may feel their contribution would pale in comparison to that of others but how would they know if they don’t get out there? Those who hang back, uninvolved, may well shine in the realm of community service, finding it brings to them something that was missing in their lives.
If you express your own feelings about caring and sharing, isolation and abandonment, others might decide to get involved and participate in being part of a change in your shared community, beginning within their own lives, with those near and dear and with those who are near — the neighbour they really don’t know, the aftershool program that could use extra volunteers to help children with reading, the local hospital that is always seeking extra pairs of hands to do this or that, the community sponsored suppers that always need potato peelers and salad makers. The list of what you CAN do is endless. The list of what you SHOULD do rests with you and your conscience.
Along with aging citizens, we are province of declining population growth rate. That being so, the need for people to serve, to assist those who are less able to meet their own daily needs, is at a critical mass. If you’re sitting home alone and are able to get out and about, DO it. Find out what’s going on in your community and see where you might fit. Ultimately, what stops you is YOU!
For myself, giving comes in a form that is somewhat unique, due in large measure to the implications of my own life circumstances. I write. I write about what I know and I write about what I live and I may very well be a voice for many out there who are in a similar situation with regard to lack of access. Perhaps my written voice gives them the courage to finally speak up, to finally stand up and ask for help when needed.
Within the parameters of my online presence, I make myself available to assist young parents with writing letters requesting devices and services necessary to improve the quality of life for their youngster with disability. I help parents through the maze of often confusing jargon aka gobbledy-gook when they get another denial letter from an agency they thought would help them. The ‘blue book’ needs to be rewritten to accommodate the real needs of real people. Yet again, to repeat an oft-used phrase - ‘one size does NOT fit all!’.
The gift of availability can be transmitted from one person to another, bringing a community to life, whether that community is online or in our daily touch it, feel it, hear it lives.
One couple I’ve ‘known’ online for several years demonstrates clearly the importance and the need for more neighbourliness. As my online friend says, “we have been isolated by our very ‘composition' by virtue of accommodation. We have always been blessed with at least a couple of friends or neighbors who accepted us, but we always had to make the most effort.”
Her husband of over 20 years, is a vent dependent quadriplegic. Injured in a high school football game in his teens, he’s been a quad for over 40 years! Imagine it! Forty plus years of not being able to do almost all the things that we so easily take for granted. Over the course of their marriage, they were Mom and Dad to several chosen children who, sadly, have passed away; all had challenges to daily living. Quite frankly the fact that this couple has to ask for help is beyond sad and unfortunate. It’s just wrong!
All around us are folks who used to ask for help but felt they were imposing and stopped asking, plodding along — sometimes to their detriment.
Plodded along until the day when the old man who lives across the street from you fell off a ladder while changing the battery in his smoke alarm. One of those ‘shoulda’ moments you missed. “I shoulda gone over to ask Mr. Jones if he needed help,” you said to yourself. Now he’s in the hospital with a broken hip and has developed an infection. How long does it take to change a smoke alarm battery?
Living with disability is not pretty and growing old is not fun. Asking for help is a tough pill but we have to swallow our pride and just DO it if we are to be safe. Will you DO your part in your community, on your street, to ensure that a neighbour in need stays safe? Perhaps that will be your next ‘just a minute’.
Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca
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