Adults can set the path to prevent bullying

December 17, 2018 

Bullying continues to pose risk to both the bullied and the bully and it’s no stretch to say that the immediacy of the internet and the gratification it provides is cause for alarm.  “Am I pretty enough?”  “Am I smart enough?” “Oh, look, I got a new dress. I must post a pic of it so all my Facebook friends may admire it.” If you don’t register enough ‘likes’, you’re at risk of being bullied. Sad but true.

What happens once the rush, the thrill is gone?  Many of us who grew up in vastly different, less stressful times have thoughts on how to curb bullying. Unplug! Have real, meaningful conversations with your children and grandchildren about the impact of bullying. Teachers have opportunity to open the door wide to dialogue about how bullying is affecting the students who are in their care for several hours each day, 5 days a week. Conversation is cathartic.

While developing this commentary, I chatted with one of my childhood friends, Nancy (Giberson) Everett, a long-time teacher in Stanley. Her youngest son, Jesse, now 30, lives with challenges to daily living; both Jesse and I were diagnosed with cerebral palsy as youngsters but neither of us fully fits the profile; ours were  ‘umbrella’ diagnoses.

“Jesse was so fortunate to have older siblings who would have beaten the living crap out of anyone who hurt him in any way; a best friend in high school, David Sparkes, ate lunch with him and sat beside him in all his classes. Also, because Jesse was with the same group of kids forever, they were just ‘used’ to him.” Nancy goes on to say that “ a supply teacher at the school who graduated with Jesse said recently that she didn't really ever think of Jesse as having a disability when he was in school.” 

Nancy went on to reminisce about our own childhood to say — “I think that is how I saw you as my neighbour friend; you were a girl who I could play with and spend time with instead of boys all the time.  I never thought of you as having any sort of disability — we just figured out ways that we could do stuff together without the boys.  Looking back, I didn’t see you as having a disability; I remember playing with your Barbies, bike rides to the drugstore, skipping in the yard.  Those are the memories I have.”

As for myself, I remember Nancy teaching me how to skip rope, my knees banging together with each tiny jump off the ground. Bruised knees featured prominently in my childhood.

Our mothers had occasion to supply teach in our local schools so we had to be on good behaviour; that’s just how it was. In primary and elementary, I was the only girl with mobility challenges; an older boy who attended the Catholic Church, as my family did, lived with a polio-like condition that featured intellectual delays. He would drop in to school from time to time for

the socialization. There were other older high school students who lived with disability but there was never a hint of bullying. We were a part of the community and that’s  the way it was. 

In grade 12, according to his Dad, “Jesse was in the Coop class with another dozen students, assigned to do his placement at the Nashwaak Villa assisting the Activities Director. After graduation,  we approached Jobs Unlimited to see what they could offer Jesse.  They took him under their wing and continued his placement at the Villa.  Jobs Unlimited hired someone to work with Jesse for a few months, assisting him with routines, and other skills. Currently, Jesse gets a few days each month working at the facility and is a much loved part of the elder care support team. And best of all, Jesse loves his time at the Villa.”

I’m pleased to know that Jesse is doing so well, as he gets on with living in spite of challenges. When I read that he was nominated for the Planetree Scholar Award and flew to Boston in October to accept it, I was so pleased for him and for his family.  His father proudly shared that, in 2015, Jesse was honored by the Third Age Centre with the "George Wakeling Award Honourable Mention" for his volunteerism at the Villa.

Jesse is an example of a young man who wasn’t a bully target in school. How adults in their world handle things from the outset determine the smoothness of the path, as young people with challenges move through the milestones of their lives. Jesse, with a supportive network of family and friends, had all the ducks lined up from the moment he ventured out into the world.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

The bullies and the bullied: a growing crisis

        As I read the headlines, splashed across many newspapers around the world, I was at once disgusted and sickened to know that such a thing could happen so close to home. ‘Such a thing’ was the blatant abuse of Brett Corbett, a student at Glace Bay High School, in Nova Scotia. Brett lives with cerebral palsy.

During lunch break, while at school, Mr. Corbett, was bullied into lying down in a stream, his body used as a bridge by the main instigator — a girl. The young man initially said it was a dare, though later investigations revealed that he was threatened by the girl, whose name was not published.

We all know that children bully. Why do some children bully, day after day after day without consequence? What makes a person a target, to be abused from first grade to 7th, to 12th? These question do have answers. Setting the stage to draw them out, in the form of round table discussions, could help. Organize groups, based on age appropriateness, develop the questions and then discuss the issues to pull out the answers. 

Girls bully, too! And they’re vicious. Why are they so vicious? What’s going on in their world that put them in the position of being a bully? Is their father a bully? Is their mother a bully? Are they being bullied by a sibling, older or younger? Children learn what they live and they act out on that. Some children go too far, with no filter, because no one has shown them, told them on a consistent basis what is and what is not acceptable.

The ‘fairer sex’ is more prone to a particular form of bullying, relational bullying, that has serious and potentially life altering or sadly, life ending consequences in some cases. They may use ostracism, rumour spreading or gossip to sabotage another child's peer relationships and isolate him from the group. 

I know why Brett went along with the demand put upon him. Like Brett, I live with cerebral palsy, but I grew up at a time when bullying wasn’t so overt. In fact, even covert bullying wasn’t part of my world when I was in grade school. Brett subjected himself to the abuses because he thought it would gain him acceptance. He wanted to fit in. Don’t we all? What he didn’t expect was how it would really make him feel — to see all those people gathered around, pointing and jeering at him, the object of their collective taunts. That had to hurt — a lot.

In complying, however, he gave up his personhood in that moment, and in the moments that followed with all those bystanders pointing and laughing. No one stepping in to stop it, to say it was wrong. Did this go beyond bullying? I assert that it did. It was a hate crime. Hate crimes against persons with disability are often under- or never reported because the victim and perpetrator know each other and fear of escalation is a concern. As such, school administration has a duty to address it in a way that is impactful and not simply dismissed as a youthful prank.

Abuses can be anything from a push, a shove, kicked away crutch or a cane, blocking a wheeelchair user from passing by you or in front of you. In school, bullying can come in the form of being excluded, never picked for team sports, even though the disability won’t compromise inclusion. All of those slings and arrows leave marks; sometimes for life.

One reason children and young adults with special health care needs might be at higher risk for bullying is lack of peer support, which serve as mechanisms of protection and prevention. Perhaps a buddy system could be put in place to pair children with special needs with an age-appropriate peer who could act as a buffer as well as become a friend. Very often, when asked, children with no challenges to fully functioning in the classroom are more than amenable to helping. It tends to be their parents who balk. Parents have the misguided notion that their child’s quality of education is compromised because they’ve become a ‘babysitter’ to a classmate with challenges. That’s a very narrow view that squashes potential for interpersonal growth during critical learning stages. Parents need to just step aside.

I’d like to see adminstration in Brett’s school develop a committee comprised of teachers, students and parents/community members to maintain open dialogue about the issue of bullying and what needs to be done to seriously address the concerns of the victimized.

To Mr. Corbett, I say — stand up and be proud of who you are. Cerebral palsy must never define you. It might limit some of your choices but it doesn’t determine what you can do with lots of hard work and the knowledge that you are a person of value and deserve to be respected.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

Sometimes too much help is neither helpful or healthy

Helping yourself help yourself, I’m sure you’ll agree, is an interesting concept. It’s one that we must put into practice if we are to maintain an even keel in the course of all our daily doins’. 

One of the common frustrations with so many of us is that we don’t feel appreciated for what we do for others, whether on a sporadic or a daily basis. Caregivers of spouses/partners are often challenged with feelings of hopelessness because they aren’t getting enough input — words matter! If someone is looking after some or all of the needs of you or a loved one, let them know you appreciate them and their care and concern. Though you may not be able to reciprocate in kind, a verbal acknowledgement of your appreciation goes a long way. As you are able, a tangible acknowledgement of your positive regard is always welcome. To do or say nothing is not only hurtful, it’s insulting.

As plans for holiday festivities get underway for many families across the province and across the country, it’s important for us to be mindful of the challenges faced by those who don’t have the same ready access as we do to meet the needs of getting things done, whether it’s shopping for festive foods or stocking up on extra winter supplies to accommodate those major snow days. With that we must also ensure that we don’t over-extend ourselves and frustrate our own holiday enjoyment worrying about someone else. We don’t want to run the risk of creating a dependence to the exclusion of those we help at least putting forth an effort to help themselves. 

Feeling ‘put upon’ is exhausting, especially if we find ourselves looking after the needs of 4,5, even 6 people on a regular/weekly basis. Who will look after us? A way to break into the quicksand feeling is to invite friends in your own circle to become ‘friendly helpers’, offering assistance to neighbours who might need a bit extra, whether daily or weekly. Your contributions also improves health and wellness of the recipient and that reduces the burden on the health care system. It’s a win-win.

If you can help without compromising your own physical or mental health, your self-respect, or your financial wellbeing, you will feel less stressed. When a situation starts sapping your own resources, it’s time to reassess your continued involvement. You have to, as the needs of some people may be beyond your ability to cope on a sustained basis. That, my friends, is nothing to feel guilty about. In reality, their situation is not your problem and the fact that you were willing to make yourself available is very telling about your character. We have to accept that we can’t save everyone, especially from themselves.

As you are able, direct your friend or the subject of your helping to other possible available resources within your community. Care must be taken not to overstep, so if you are able to furnish contact information (name, telephone number) of helping agency representatives, then you’ve done your part as a caring friend. It’s up to the recipient of your support to take the next step and make some calls to get connected to more long term, sometimes lifelong systems of support.

When someone you’ve assisted, whether for weeks, months or even a few years doesn’t seem keen on improving their situation with regard to helping themselves, or if there’s no recpiprocity of some kind, then you may have to make the decision, however painful, to significantly limit or terminate the relationship, so that resentment doesn’t build to the point of irrevocably blowing up the friendship. The provider of care and concern may feel entrapped and that’s not a good place to be.

For myself, I’d be in a fine mess were it not for the friendship I have with my dinner and a movie pal, who has made herself available, as required,  to take me to Fredericton to pick up a grocery order at Victory, do a mall crawl, a shopping at a supermarket, and other errands, including taking dogs to the groomer, Thank goodness I don’t abuse her on a weekly basis; she’d have disowned me years ago. On our city outings, I provide lunch. Once home, I try to send her off with a care package — portions of dinner meals I’ve stashed in the freezer, slices of cake, a loaf of bread, a jar of soup.

Long ago, I told her to never say yes when she really needed/wanted to say no. Like me, she’s home alone, too, so my limited ability to reciprocate appeals to her — I like to bake and cook; she doesn’t! Food is the great equalizer.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

Age is no barrier to sustainable friendships

According to children’s book author, Polly Berrien Berends, “everything that happens to you is your teacher. The secret is to learn to sit at the feet of your own life and be taught by it.”

In Fredericton, in our province and across this great country is opportunity to learn and to teach. I was struck by this on a trip to the big city several days ago as my friend and I talked about all the new housing developments going up in and around Fredericton, a common trend across the country. I have often wondered if the various brand spankin’ new apartment complexes have a ‘good mix’ of young, old, persons with disability, students, retired, stay at home Moms. That sort of thing. Within those groups would be amazing resources for learning, for teaching.

As my friend and I passed by streets with all the new subdivisions and their rows of bright, shiny houses, many with almost identical appearance on the outside, I asked myself whether neighbours get to know each other. Do they take the time? Are these new homes with the manicured lawns lived in by 2 working people — usually parents with young families? Are others home to  retired couples who have downsized from the sprawling downtown Victorian, or moved from another city to be closer to family? Are a few home to the recently widowed who have become isolated, not by choice but by circumstance? Are still others occupied by a group of university students sharing the house for the duration of their university degree program; one housemate moves on, another moves in? 

Many cities have certain areas, by virtue of their location, their street address, being identified as ‘bad neighbourhoods’. I won’t name names here, but the reality is that not everyone who lives on those streets, in those subsidized housing units, are bad people, criminals, or drug addicts, or abusers of women and children. Low income housing developments should not immediately imply that the people are ‘less than’, ‘low class’, ‘no class’, ‘users and losers’. We can’t know what life circumstances have invaded the personal lives of those who live in such places.  At least they’re not on the street, challenged by the elements and becoming sick in both body and mind. For that, they are grateful. Must their circumstance continue to punish them when they are trying to get out from under, many with a new start, in a new place? 

In holding on to misguided beliefs about a person because of where he lives, we deny ourselves many opportunities to learn and to teach. We deny our children. We can’t afford to continue with that practice if we, in this province, are to survive. To grow. Our youth  is our future, with some young people wanting to stay and make their own ‘grown up’ lives here in New Brunswick, as we ‘of a certain age’ are moving closer to the finish line of our life’s road.

It is, therefore, critical that we adopt a more inclusive attitude towards the younger generations. Some of them are lost in depression because of their own loneliness.

Living in isolation in all those pretty houses is frustrating happiness and emotional growth across ages and stages, across generations. Think about that for a moment. Back to that young family in the subdivision, with the two children in primary school — do you know the old lady down the street? She’s a widow and has been on her own for just over a year. She no longer drives as she’s developed a nervousness about city traffic. Could you meet her and see if you can help out; she’s a retired teacher and might be able to help your children with reading. Sort of a bartering arrangement. She tutors your children and they get to hear about what life was like for her when she was in school. They stay on for hot chocolate after the reading lesson. Why? Because they wanted to. It gave them an hour or so to spend doing something they enjoyed when they otherwise might have been home alone exercising only their thumbs on their cell phone. 

The children want to visit again tomorrow and bring a board game. What a great start to a blossoming friendship. Get the idea! 

I am not alone in the belief that the blending of people from different walks of life in subdivisions, in apartment complexes, in  low income housing is an ideal way for young and old to meet and get to know one another and not be  weighted down by how much money so and so makes or who is driving the best car, the fastest car. The circle of life lives on, on any street in any city or town in the country. We need to gather up a bunch of circles and reacquaint ourselves with lives, not just living in isolation with all our stuff. The happiness stuff brings is fleeting.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

Your health and wellness depends on you

Recently, I read Jim Wolstenholme’s well articulated message speaking to the value of repurposing rural hospitals currently closed to fully functional use. They could and should be re-branded as providers of primary health care which could effectively fill gaps that exist within our current structure. Initial expenditures to bring these facilities up to current standards and needs would be recouped in very short order, while at the same time taking the pressure off the current systems of care that are essentially being taxed to the max. It’s a win-win that requires thinking outside the box and allowing for the very strong likelihood that it will work and work well. Those in positions to make such decisions just need to get out of their own way and really start listening to and hearing the men and women, and even children who would benefit from expanded services through revitalizing shuttered, retired medical facilities.

Primary health care teams at these site should include family practitioners, nurses, social workers, psychologists, and mental health counsellors, working collaboratively to improve the quality of life for all — from the very young to the very old.

Taken further, having a well orchestrated team in place can reduce ER congestion, and provide earlier diagnosis of serious condition/disease thereby expediting timely treatment protocols. All of these things could have been put in place years ago at the hospital of my youth — the long shuttered Northern Carleton Hospital in Bath if it had been developed into a fully functioning clinic.

A few years ago, I wrote an article in response to the intended plan to repurpose that building into senior housing. As it turned out, major headaches ensued and the plan to provide a much needed housing alternative for seniors never came to fruition. What happened? Why? Was such a carrot waved in other communities only to fall flat? Will plans with such a positive vision be revisited or is it now a case of once bitten, twice shy?

I was sorely disappointed that the plans in my hometown never materialized as the proposed senior housing would have provided a much needed service to the community and with it would have come ancillary services specific to the needs of the older folks. Secondly, it could have been expanded to include a day care center, or even function as an afterschool program venue. All plusses that would have concurrently enhanced the lives of older citizens of the community by broadening their social connectedness with the younger set. As well, it would have been a mechanism by which students, from elementary school through high school could get involved and explore the value of volunteering. Volunteerism contributes to the shaping of a community that may be struggling. But that’s for another commentary.

It’s not lost on me and many others who have interest in health and health care that rebranding outdated facilities that functioned as full-service hospitals makes a lot of sense. It’s time to stop mindlessly moving chess pieces around the board and make a full committment to walking the walk and doing something with abandoned hospitals, giving back to rural dwellers some semblance of security. Good health is not a given. It’s a gift. Some of us by virtue of how we think about life and living and how we conduct the daily business of living are better equipped to make the right choices and often have greater resources to ensure that we can live well. That being so, I believe that we should revisit user fees. Make no mistake, it’s not just those on the lower rungs of the socio-economic ladder who over-use/misuse hospital services, notably the ER; they do so out of fear, clearly.  Lots of ‘well-heeled’ citizens are frequent fliers in the ER system of care. User fees should be structured in such a way that they won’t discourage the truly needy from attending at the hospital for a real health situation/emergency. Common sense must be restored and a slap on the pocketbook is often an effective method of waking people up to their out of control behaviour and their duty to monitor the excesses that compromise their health.

As well, it’s important for us to be more aware of our community and the people in it. Being aware and alert to the needs of others impacts us in very important ways because what we do for our neighbour helps all of us. Your reassuring assistance to an ‘at risk’ neighbour breaks the cycle of ER over-use It really does. Isolated elders may need nothing more than a conversation and a cuppa. You’ve lifted their spirits, eased their minds and they no longer need to go to the ER for that people connection fix. You’ve done your part. Now keep doing it.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

For young people, volunteering is character building

Junior and senior high school students in many schools across Canada are doing something that students in our province are not doing — they’re volunteering in their community as part of the high school graduating requirement.

In 2011, the Progressive Conservatives plan to introduce mandatory volunteering fell flat. The feeling was that groups relying on volunteers were not eager to accept high school students who would be ‘required’ to be there but not have wanted to be there. Were students actually consulted about what they wanted? Or, did directors of the various groups simply decided that students wouldn’t want to participate as part of a graduating requirement? Student input is critical; after all, it’s their futures on the horizon.

Put off by the name ‘volunteering’? Call it community based learning because, as a process, it makes a lot more sense, as all students, university-bound or not, would benefit from work/job shadowing experiences through junior and senior high school, as they spend time in the workplace, absorbing all the intricacies involved in how a business is run, perhaps experiencing several different components before settling on one they liked, about which they’d like to learn more. Not unlike opening the pages of a book and reading from beginning to end, learning about all the characters and plots and how the story ends. Hands-on learning has a staying power as it gives students an opportunity to determine if what they’re physically doing is something they’d like to learn more about, with a view to developing a job or career after high school is behind them.

Volunteerism has potential to open doors to university or to jobs opportunities or training programs that offer scholarship based on volunteer hours in the community. From volunteering grows self-driven learning which demonstrates to teachers and others that the student is sincere in his efforts and serious about his goals. Administrators must think outside the box and free themselves of outdated notions about how children are ‘supposed’ to learn.

Sometimes, student interns/volunteers may receive pay for their work and an internship may develop into a full-time summer job during high school. For the student who hasn’t been sufficiently encouraged, opportunities tend to slip out of reach, so volunteering opens access and allows them to realize that they can do the job, that they’re good at it, and that they could probably make a full-time career out of those early opportunities once the required book learning has been completed.

 

The spirit of volunteering actually must begin in the home with parents leading by example. From the time a child comes into the world, the stage is set for youngsters to see community service in action through their parents, their first teachers. Over time, when they age into their place as a contributing member of society, children should already have a set of skills and aptitudes that can be moulded into a means by which they can contribute in a meaningful way, so that come junior and senior high school, meeting the requisite number of hours of volunteerism/community service is relatively easy. Lots of students are well acquainted with volunteering as it was part of the fabric of their upbringing from the time they could walk; they may have accompanied Mom or Dad to community sponsored fund raising events; bake sales, service club sponsored sit down meals in the church hall, library book drive, and so on.

Most volunteering schemes in schools in other provinces expect students to complete 25-40 hours of community service to meet the graduation requirement and some schoolboards have outlined acceptable venues in which to accommodate volunteering. The library is often a great resource to establish a list of venues that welcome volunteers. 

Again, I have to say, the goal should really be more about students being able to choose their own path and be allowed to demonstrate a maturity that illustrates that they know what they’re doing. Students fall across different parts of the spectrum when it comes to eagerness about mandatory volunteering. Take out the ‘mandatory’ and the landscape changes significantly. Lots of students don’t think twice about it, especially if they grew up in it, aware that their contribution to community life does matter.

I believe that there is a place and there is a need for volunteerism in our junior and high school curriculum, incorporating it into the fabric of the current learning processes and applying it as credit hours towards graduation.  Many of a community’s old guard is aging out and really could use younger bodies, steadier hands and feet to work along side them, so what better way to meet the demand? Our young people are the future of community life, especially those with aging populations that simply can’t keep pace with the demands of participation. Talk to young people in your world about the value of volunteering.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

Online community get-togethers can take you places

“The loneliest people in NB,” read the headline of Stephen Llewellyn’ recent contribution to Brunswick News. It struck a chord. The article was developed out of an interview with retired St. Thomas University Professor Dan Gleason. I extended an invitation to Dan to come out to Chez Rockwell for coffee and cake. Given I was one of his  students during my first year at STU, it would be fun to reconnect. I cautioned Mr. Digby, the tenacious one, to be on his best behaviour.

Being alone, on my own, was rooted very early when I was a toddler, separate and apart from siblings, doing my own thing, while they did theirs. I had plenty of play time with my brothers and sisters and others, but artsy craftsy pursuits held my interest. The physical challenges of cerebral palsy can’t be held up as what isolated me; it was more a matter of temperament. I was into more solitary brain bending activities and that is still true today. As I’ve said in earlier discussions, alone and loneliness are not synonymous.

Admittedly, being removed from the hub of activity that city living affords has been a challenge and is becoming even more vexing. My world would be significantly broader were I to move back to where I spent much of my adult life and had readier access to points of interest like libraries, eateries, museums, etc. Perhaps I’m due for a change sooner rather than later. We shall see.

Thus far,  I am able to maintain social connections in a unique way — infrequent but planned city outings coupled with an established routine of internet exchanges with folks of like mind — discussions about books, music, politics and so on; invariably discussion turns into sharing favourite tried and true recipes and banter about what new ones we’re considering. A gal’s gotta eat! 

Text based ‘conversation’ has filled in the gaps for the truly shut in; many go on to video chat using downloadable chat ‘apps’ like Skype or Facetime. Some have even organized real life, in person get-togethers. And then there are those who have found a connection that has taken them on the journey of dating and mating.

Years ago, I and another fellow Canadian, also living with cerebral palsy, were joint operators of a chat room that was a welcoming place for persons with disability. I was more a mentor to the then 18 year old young man from Ontario who started the channel. We would chat about a range of issues that affected the daily living of persons with disability. Sometimes, we were called upon to help someone in crisis; that person new to disability who was looking for a job; the woman with amputation who was being abused and didn’t know what to do or how to get out; the guy who liked a girl at work but didn’t know how to approach her — he lived with fully involved quadriplegia and she was one of those Madison Avenue pretty girl types. Internet text based chat, then as now, serves a valuable function with regard to social connectedness amongst the disenfranchised.

Recently, I have been reconnected with chat pals from ‘back in the day’, and it occurred to me that perhaps there is still a place for ‘conversation’ that involves banging away on a keyboard. And so was born #seniorchat on Dalnet server via Mirc or X-chat (Mac users). There are a number of other chat programs that are still available and would accommodate access to the chat space I’ve created. Please feel free to email me for instructions on setting up so you may join us and toss in your 2 cents; 10, if you’re feeling particularly inspired.

I heartily agree with Prof. Deborah van den Hoonaard’s assessment when she speaks of how seniors are treated within various ‘helping’ systems. Our senior care programs should seriously consider adding another layer to the currently available services that go beyond custodial work. Because of frequent rotations of workers making home visits to clean the bathroom and dust the living room tables, there is little in the way of what I call ‘people polishing’.  People need to be acknowledged as thinking, feeling human beings. To fill in a gap, the Red Cross’ Senior Check-in program is laudable but there needs to be so much more on a sustained basis; each and every day there must be some mechanism of connectedness put in place for those who are skirting the fringes. I believe my new chat space might be just the ticket for some old geezers and geezerettes such as I to ‘get connected’.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca