As I read the headlines, splashed across many newspapers around the world, I was at once disgusted and sickened to know that such a thing could happen so close to home. ‘Such a thing’ was the blatant abuse of Brett Corbett, a student at Glace Bay High School, in Nova Scotia. Brett lives with cerebral palsy.
During lunch break, while at school, Mr. Corbett, was bullied into lying down in a stream, his body used as a bridge by the main instigator — a girl. The young man initially said it was a dare, though later investigations revealed that he was threatened by the girl, whose name was not published.
We all know that children bully. Why do some children bully, day after day after day without consequence? What makes a person a target, to be abused from first grade to 7th, to 12th? These question do have answers. Setting the stage to draw them out, in the form of round table discussions, could help. Organize groups, based on age appropriateness, develop the questions and then discuss the issues to pull out the answers.
Girls bully, too! And they’re vicious. Why are they so vicious? What’s going on in their world that put them in the position of being a bully? Is their father a bully? Is their mother a bully? Are they being bullied by a sibling, older or younger? Children learn what they live and they act out on that. Some children go too far, with no filter, because no one has shown them, told them on a consistent basis what is and what is not acceptable.
The ‘fairer sex’ is more prone to a particular form of bullying, relational bullying, that has serious and potentially life altering or sadly, life ending consequences in some cases. They may use ostracism, rumour spreading or gossip to sabotage another child's peer relationships and isolate him from the group.
I know why Brett went along with the demand put upon him. Like Brett, I live with cerebral palsy, but I grew up at a time when bullying wasn’t so overt. In fact, even covert bullying wasn’t part of my world when I was in grade school. Brett subjected himself to the abuses because he thought it would gain him acceptance. He wanted to fit in. Don’t we all? What he didn’t expect was how it would really make him feel — to see all those people gathered around, pointing and jeering at him, the object of their collective taunts. That had to hurt — a lot.
In complying, however, he gave up his personhood in that moment, and in the moments that followed with all those bystanders pointing and laughing. No one stepping in to stop it, to say it was wrong. Did this go beyond bullying? I assert that it did. It was a hate crime. Hate crimes against persons with disability are often under- or never reported because the victim and perpetrator know each other and fear of escalation is a concern. As such, school administration has a duty to address it in a way that is impactful and not simply dismissed as a youthful prank.
Abuses can be anything from a push, a shove, kicked away crutch or a cane, blocking a wheeelchair user from passing by you or in front of you. In school, bullying can come in the form of being excluded, never picked for team sports, even though the disability won’t compromise inclusion. All of those slings and arrows leave marks; sometimes for life.
One reason children and young adults with special health care needs might be at higher risk for bullying is lack of peer support, which serve as mechanisms of protection and prevention. Perhaps a buddy system could be put in place to pair children with special needs with an age-appropriate peer who could act as a buffer as well as become a friend. Very often, when asked, children with no challenges to fully functioning in the classroom are more than amenable to helping. It tends to be their parents who balk. Parents have the misguided notion that their child’s quality of education is compromised because they’ve become a ‘babysitter’ to a classmate with challenges. That’s a very narrow view that squashes potential for interpersonal growth during critical learning stages. Parents need to just step aside.
I’d like to see adminstration in Brett’s school develop a committee comprised of teachers, students and parents/community members to maintain open dialogue about the issue of bullying and what needs to be done to seriously address the concerns of the victimized.
To Mr. Corbett, I say — stand up and be proud of who you are. Cerebral palsy must never define you. It might limit some of your choices but it doesn’t determine what you can do with lots of hard work and the knowledge that you are a person of value and deserve to be respected.
Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca
No comments:
Post a Comment