“You don’t sound disabled.” Words heard almost 40 years ago during a telephone interview when I had to disclose a mobility disorder because the location of the job was hampered by steps and the building had no elevator. I had to take a pass on the employment opportunity.
Suffice to say I was mortified at the interviewer’s attitude. After all, it was only a few years before, in 1981, that the world shared the International Year of Persons with Disability. It was also the year that Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer, both patrons of a range of agencies and organizations advocating on behalf of persons with challenges to daily living.
Time marches on and I heard those very words — “you don’t sound disabled” — just a few weeks ago. To say my head was figuratively spinning is an understatement. How can it be that such attitudes about people can be so fixed in the minds of so many? It’s like they’ve been living under a rock while life moved on without them. Attitude awareness requires a commitment to change; to be sincere in efforts to make the world a more inclusive and better place for those among us disadvantaged by circumstances beyond our control.
The nature of the exchange I had recently was such that the person would be attending at Chez Rockwell to provide services critical to home maintenance. The more the man talked the more uncomfortable I became about just how competent he was and whether I wanted to allow him into my home. I may be totally wrong about his character but first impressions are telling. My impression of the gentleman told me is that I couldn’t allow myself to hire him. I thanked him for taking the time with me and bid him a good day. The second call I made provided me with exactly what I needed. Words matter.
It’s unfortunate that in 2021, I and so many in like circumstance must do battle with the attitudes others hold about us as a group. Some among us become demoralized and give up; at least for awhile. Others press on in spite of the misconceptions and ill-chosen words that effectively diminish them human beings. That’s just wrong. There is no getting around it. Words matter.
Not only do I not sound disabled, it’s been said that I don’t sound like a New Brunswicker though I don’t know about that. I’m sure I have that certain ‘tell' that reveals my place/province of birth, though I can say with certainty that one particular NB colloquialism that I’ve never used is ‘some good’ when expounding upon the quality of something, particularly an item of food. By the way, ‘eh’ is not in my vocabulary, either. How did that happen?
It’s a given that we are going to harbour certain views about people; it’s often more related to their socio-economic status and preconceived notions we have about them because of the reality that they have money, the means to enrich their lifestyle at will while so many struggle to meet the demands of basic necessities of life. Those who may not have the financial means do have the wherewithal to improve their lot in other ways and that’s what propels them forward, so that even in spite of challenges to daily living such as physical disability imposes— it’s not going to hold them back and won’t be a deterrent to getting them where they need to be in life.
Though I don’t sound disabled, how I do sound makes an impact out there in the world. The same is true for anyone as he makes his way through life.
Polishing our speech so that we more easily fit into the workplace where we conduct business to earn a living is critical to our sustained success. Mimicking the habits of successful people while still embracing what makes us unique allows men and women of any age to find their voice, find their way. We can change the world with our words, no matter how we sound. These times need to change a bit faster if the world is to turn itself around.
Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell
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