Talents and tenacity

 

Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. [Homer]

    Did my adversity, or what I call a life challenge, plant the seeds of my talents, of my tenacity to press on in spite of? As I look back on my life and reflect upon where I started and how far I’ve come, I have to say yes, my limitations to physical mobility did, most assuredly, develop my talents. 

    I have a talent for writing among other things. That particular gift has allowed me to take on the role of mentor, both in person, early in my growing up and work life and later on, as I move to the online world to share what I know about life and living with disability. 

    Certainly, as to the writer me, genetics played a role; my father had the gift of words, as did his late brother.  Both physicians, my uncle went on to have a successful 2nd career as a newspaper columnist offering medical advice. His columns were later developed into a book. Lucky me! I have a signed copy. He and my father would be pleased to know that I’ve found a niche online, particularly since aging with cerebral palsy has impacted my ability to move about easily and freely in the day to day, touchy feely world.

    In today’s internet connected world that links us together in ways that we never could have imagined 20 or 30 years ago, we have opportunity explore many avenues of interest at the same time, shifting from one computer screen to another; taking it all in, like a greedy puppy.

    With all the technological advancements that enhance learning opportunities, why do so many still struggle? Talent and tenacity isn’t always enough. And so enters mentoring. Someone who believes in what you can do and is willing to share what they’ve learned on their own journey so that yours may be easier. 

    Simply put, many students, young or old, rely on people power to enrich their learning process.  Joining with one or two, three or four people not only allows for sharing ideas to organize thoughtful study, it’s a way to network to establish other relationships that may be more social in nature. Aligning with another who’s been there, done that is one of the best ways to ensure that what you’re diving into is going to stick. Social interactions are critical to development, from cradle to grave. 

Mentoring men and women of any age who need a guiding hand is a way that those who have talents to share are able to do so with the knowledge that they are lifting up others to a more level playing field. That is always a good thing. The beauty of it is that, over time, there’s a reciprocity as students become teachers and coach others in skills needed to advance in school or in the workplace.

Families living on the financial fringes trying to raise children through the various ages and stages of development and education very often struggle with the cost of it all. Joining forces with a mentor or two is a way for them to keep up with less physical and emotional strain, which is so draining on a family’s resources in the long term and makes the jobs of Mom and Dad more challenging.

Mentoring has no specific age requirement but it reasons that many toddlers aren’t quite up to the challenge, though some would have a go at teaching a playmate how to make a peanut butter sandwich. 

Children who come into the world with any sort of impediment or challenge to daily living and inclusion, however developed, have to be guided carefully if an intact intellect is present so that they can become students, however adept, of a range of disciplines, whether it’s colouring, weaving, learning to type, telling stories. The processes of ‘getting there’ are unique to the individual and teachers must step back, wait and watch to see what happens. 

Within a group of youngsters, there will be one or two or three who will quite naturally step into the role of mentor. Let them. That’s their own learning at work. All manner of skills are learned in an environment that’s not particularly structured. That, alone, makes the steps more easily remembered and put into action the next time. 

Children with disability are presented with many opportunities for inclusion that are compatible with their situations so that they are able to experience even a modicum of success without fear of failure. Feelings of insecurity often weigh particularly heavily on children who struggle to find their place in a peer group; for some, who have the gift of language, mentoring becomes easier as confidence grows. Leading reading groups is often a great place to start. Teachers and other adults in their world should encourage after school reading circles. It’s a great way to expand social circles outside of the classroom and it takes the pressure off the struggling reader as he expands his portfolio of talents. Talents that will carry him through his academic career and beyond. Community theatre is another avenue that children with challenges can explore. 

So many opportunities are available today that weren’t even thought of when I was in grade school; even in smaller communities there are endless opportunities to explore ourselves from the inside out. According to Shakespeare, “all the world’s a stage.”

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

Sustaining friendship creates community

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. [Wilson Mizner]

Friendships take many forms and can span decades, from cradle to grave in some cases, when youngsters were born in the same town, where parents were friends and actively involved in all aspects of community life. It reasoned that children would go with that flow of familial connectedness and share in common interests and goals very early in their lives. Those social connections were the melting pot into which various ingredients were poured that determined the path youngsters would take as they grew into themselves. 

Twists and turns in life are inevitable; they’re all part of the learning process that allows us to find our place and accept that what we contribute is valuable and what we take away is often more valuable. We all are works in progress. Growth is accelerated when children work together and begin to realize that their contribution matters. Knowing that gives them staying power to hang in and fight the good fight; there are younger children on the sidelines watching them. It won’t be long before those new voices are heard. Teaching and learning isn’t just an adult in a classroom directing the traffic of education. Teachers help children acquire the tools to be a friend and to have friends. That’s a vital piece of the fabric of that shared experience of grade school education. Further education at the post-secondary level or jumping right into work life are other avenues of developing friendships with a broad range of people with both shared interests and those yet to be explored. To coin an oft-used phrase – it’s not the quantity of friends but the quality of friends that provides the framework upon which we build our own lives with our own families.

Our first friends are our siblings. Our parents aren’t supposed to be our friends though many adults lay claim to that sort of relationship with their children. Call me an old poop, but a parent is a parent; a teacher, a guide, an example.

Growing up with 7 siblings, and the closeness in age among some, friends and other connections were shared. Sports was a common thread along which friendships were formed and sustained. I didn’t have the same grade school experience as my siblings with regard to friendship development given my awkward mobility. Friendships found their way into my world when I began university and the playing field was more level by virtue of there being other students with disability present and visible. I didn’t have that experience when I was in grade school.

I like to be that friend who comes through in a crisis and it’s gratifying to know that it will be reciprocated when needs arise. It’s important for us to nurture friendships, however infrequently, though time and distance may impact ‘quality togetherness’. Internet communication lends itself well to filling in the gaps until in person meetings are available. COVID restrictions are lifted and summer travel will be in full swing and with that a rejuvenation of friendship connections that were put on the back burner. Some didn’t survive. That’s not a bad thing, though. Sometimes, people’s interests change, diverge. 

A true friend gives support without judgment, comes through in a crisis and knows just the right thing to say when it matters most. Friendships are an essential ingredient in a happy life, so it’s time to give them the care and attention they deserve. When they flounder and fail, do we blame others, or do we take time to reflect on what we could or should have done better to sustain the connection?

Family relationships often come with a dose of guilt and obligation. Friends, on the other hand, are the antidote to the burdens of daily life.

With family, we sometimes feel that we have to do this or that and feel put upon when the demands of elderly parents or an unwell sibling impinges on our ‘quality time’. In the best of circumstances, life isn’t always fair, so we have an obligation to ourselves to pause and assess what it is that we can do on a daily basis, a weekly basis, or whatever basis, to improve the circumstance of someone in our familial world who is struggling. Have multiple siblings, aunts, uncles, and others allows us to share the rota.

As is the way of the world and life, people become more focused on certain connections as they age into a new phase of their lives. Midlifers and those near retirement tend to make plans to care for an aging or elderly parent; perhaps having Mom and Dad move from the family home of their childhood into their home as a grown up, married adult with a growing family. A whole new series of connections are made that allow for different blends of friends. Always a good thing.

Though one may be inclined to feel mad or sad when a friendship weakens over time or simply ends, don’t be distressed. Unless one of the parties did something truly offensive, drifting away and apart is sometimes a natural progression that allows us to explore other streams of connectedness. There’s still room to care and share with new people who come into our lives. Be open to embracing a different journey. Expanding our social circle is good for emotional and physical health.

Try it, you’ll like it.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at  Carla MacInnis Rockwell

What's in your medicine cabinet?

 

Photo: Unsplash

The older I get, the more I appreciate that it is I who is ‘driving the bus’ with regard to how my health/medical care goes. My doctor accepts that, as I age with  since birth spastic diplegic cerebral palsy, I must be doing many things right given I’m not frequent flier with regard to ER visits and hospital admissions. I stay well clear of both and I credit my diligence within the parameters of ‘I am what I eat’ protocols, in place for decades.

  I’ll be 69 in few months;  that I am still upright mobile and independently living is an anomaly in rehab medicine devoted to the treatment and study of cerebral palsy and the aging process. The stage was set for this positive status within the first two years of my life when I was exercised, exercised, exercised. Thanks, Mom (and sometimes Dad, and a few older siblings).

According to the Canadian Institute for Health Information, “on average, seniors use more drugs than any other age group in Canada. This release describes the number and most common types of drugs prescribed to seniors (including those living in long-term care settings) between 2017 and 2021 by sex, age, neighbourhood income and geographic location.”

Think about that for a moment. 

Then there’s this, from Hospital News, Canada’s health care news and best practices:  “one in four Canadian seniors on 10 or more prescription drugs.” Ten or more! If that’s not an OMG moment, I don’t know what is!

Instead of a medicine cabinet full of prescription drugs, I have a vast storehouse of information, decades in the making, with regard to health and wellness, aging safely and well with disability, and the role lifestyle, notably nutrition, plays in outcomes. To learn that most Canadian seniors take 10 script drugs daily is worrisome to say the least. How often does their treating physician call them in for a drugs review? How many are still taking drugs for conditions that have long since resolved? How many doctors are still prescribing long after the drug is no longer indicated because a patient asked for it?  Drug seeking and doctor shopping amongst the senior set is not new, though today’s climate makes it challenging to find a family physician. The province is crying for care. 

I care for myself by opting to supplement, given that persons with neurological insults such as cerebral palsy absorb nutrients far more rapidly than the able-bodied. I've been taking several supplements recommended to support aging well with cerebral palsy. Notable among them is zinc, C, D, magnesium and B12. B12 is indicated for brain health and often prescribed if there is a familial history of stroke. Post-stroke it's been demonstrated to heal the brain. There’s not much in the literature with regard to longevity amongst persons with cerebral palsy, regardless of type, but it’s reasonable to say that the less medicated we are, the healthier we will be.

As with all things, consult with your treating physician before undertaking a course of supplements. The 'normal' body sans pre-existing condition may get sufficient vitamins and minerals from daily diet. We who are neurologically insulted often do not.

  Sadly, a lot of people take prescription meds to ‘treat’ conditions that no longer exist; from a medical/health perspective that is potentially dangerous. What drives the practice of prescribing without real cause? It may set the stage of addiction which could be a deadly path. Opioid addiction amongst seniors is growing. 

New Brunswick has a significant block of senior, elderly and advanced geriatrics, with many living alone, in an isolation which has been exacerbated by COVID. Fear-driven seclusion is now part of the landscape.  What can be done to break the bonds of this ‘held hostage’ mentality? Community companionship may well be the ‘drug of choice’ that keeps on giving without the hangover effect. Loneliness may be the single-most debilitating condition that has potential to cause illness and disease than any of the ‘usual suspects’.

Genetics and lifestyle significantly contribute to how one ages; I’m testament to that. Genetics wreaked havoc in my family with two siblings succumbing to implications and complications of Rheumatoid Arthritis. 

Since my late teens, I’ve plodded along with fibromyalgia, though confirmed diagnosis came decades later when a treating physiatrist felt that presenting symptoms suggested I had, in fact, lived with ‘fibro’ long before ‘official’ diagnosis was named, given that it mimics other conditions, particularly those in the arthritis family, though it is not an auto-immune disease; inflammation is not a feature. Interestingly, it’s frequently found in women aging with cerebral palsy, regardless of type. I had actually read about it in one of Dad’s old medical books, devoted to women’s health, published in the 1930s. So as a ‘dis’ease/condition, fibromyalgia has been around for some time. Sadly, it’s been called the ‘all in your head’ condition, dismissed by clinicians who should be more thoughtful when exchanging with a patient who is obviously in pain and stress. ‘Doing’ good medicine and ‘practicing’ are not synonymous.

Post-COVID, many clinicians have returned to in-clinic practice with protocols of mask wearing and social distancing still in place, others have opted for telephone consults only, and anything that is emergent has follow up at hospital. 

DOING at home on a daily basis is key to wellness.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

Character education has a place in school

Coming out of COVID lock-down has forever changed the landscape with regard to how we conduct ourselves within the community; from how things now function within the school systems, within the workplace and in public gathering places. To ensure health and wellness of all, it’s vital that men, women, boys and girls embrace being a ‘WE’ people. Some of us are disadvantaged by circumstances beyond our control and sometimes need a hand up. 

According to William Ellery Channing, a Rhode Island born Unitarian preacher, “the home is the chief school of human virtues.”

Not a day goes by that we don’t read or hear about some ‘wronged’ person, adult or child,  going on a rampage, armed with assault weapons, randomly shooting moving targets who are running for their lives. Clearly, all is not well in their world for them to explode their rage in a hail of bullets.

Parenting children today is no easy task, with the push and pull of almost every facet of daily life contributing to elevated stress levels — children want what they want — NOW.  Some parents tend to give in rather than have conversations about the value of patience and behaving in acceptable ways to ‘earn’ the object/toy of their desire. They need help. 

I recall, many years ago, making my way through parenting a young school-age stepson, venturing into not totally uncharted territory as I was used to being around youngsters. He was not an easy child, a combination of temperament and circumstance, so I decided that a way to reach him would be through reading together. All manner of books became part of his childhood library. Among them Joy Berry’s series, Let’s Talk About, with each book focusing on a single topic and includes cartoon illustrations and relatable situations. Though designed for pre-schoolers, they were appropriate for my stepson given his situation. The Let’s Talk About books help children identify, understand and learn how to handle their new feelings. It was my hope that my stepson would adjust and grow into this new, blended family. Alas, that was not to be. His needs were far greater than my abilities to meet them. Now an adult, he still hasn’t fully found his feet.

That is why I am a strong advocate of early intervention for children with special needs, unique circumstances and different learning styles, with adults in their world who just don’t seem to get them. That being so, I also believe that virtues/moral values should to be taught in school. They need be taught in school. 

In Ontario Catholic schools, as example, they have what is called graduation expectations. It’s not about advancing the doctrine of a particular religion; rather it’s about developing in students a skill set that readies them for their place in their community as full-time, ongoing contributors. Students must meet a specific set of goals/requirements in order to graduate; to me, it’s ideal in theory and in practice. In fact, we could use it in our schools — I’m sure parents and teachers would welcome it. Several of the goals include: an effective communicator; a reflective, creative and holistic thinker; a self-directed, responsible, lifelong learner; a collaborative contributor; a caring family member; and, a responsible citizen. Each goal has various individual components which guide behaviour and learning.

Children who are not getting enough constructive conversation in the home, for whatever reason, need access to it in school — the one place where they rely on other adults to help them when they need it. Success in life isn’t just about reading and writing, language arts and maths. One must have the basics of kindness, of caring and sharing, if they are to achieve favourable outcomes in other aspects of life.                                           

I don’t think I’d be too far off the mark when I say that, if each school day, in each classroom started with “Good morning, how are you feeling this morning? John, you go first,” teachers would soon realize there is a need and they have an opportunity to fill it. Invite students to share but remind them that others need to have a turn. If there’s not enough time to get to everyone, invite them to stay after school for more conversation. Invite colleagues to participate and explore plans for making these discussions a part of daily interactions with students.  Such exchanges could potentially save lives as they allow teachers to see who’s struggling with situations beyond what would be expected. Stabilize the feelings and the learning takes flight.

Character/morals education is not some outdated concept that has no place in school curriculum. It has a very important place in the education of our children if they are to succeed in life. Building character in children also involves including them in the community so that they come to know that what they have to say and how they feel is important. 

Morals education is like growing a vegetable garden. The seeds are planted and watered and as ideas flourish and feelings mature, the weeds are pulled away. Imagine if students developed their own real-time gardens and watched them grow. Carrots and conversation go well together.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

 

Copper wire thieves steal more than copper

 Photo: Luke Sharrett/Bloomberg

It happened again!! For a second time, I became a crime victim and I am all at once furious and concerned. 

On the morning of February 16th at around 11:00a.m., after my physiotherapy session, I bid the therapist good-bye and then went to use the phone. It was out.  Dead! I went on  Facebook to ask a neighbour if her phone was out; alas, she no longer has a landline but confirmed with another neighbour that her phone along with the phones of a few others was out; they are folks, like me, who are home during the day.                                                                  

Since I don’t drive, my home alone status is impacted by any number of events that would require me to be able to leave quickly and easily. I’m glad that I have a network of neighbours who have, over the years, made themselves available to me should I require any sort of assistance given my mobility challenges.  They ensure that my quality of life is made stable so that I may continue to live independently and safely on my own. In a pinch, I’d not have a problem morphing into a fleece robe, flannel PJ wearing mobility scooter speed demon, to make my way next door so long as I wasn’t up to my bum in snow. Thankfully, today, the driveway is clear. 

My usual but never taken for granted connection to the outside world, my phone, has been severed! Copper thieves were at it again. This is the second such incident within a month. A month!!!

On 18 January, copper thieves struck, impacting the lives of me and many others on my road.  What these persons fail to realize is that they’re stealing more than copper wire. They’re stealing security and peace of mind.

Vandalism compromised the quality of my life and my safety when a person or persons unknown cut a swath of telephone cable that disconnected me and hundred of other homeowners from landline telephone service in the Williamsburg-Napadogan area. From just after 9a.m. to just after 6pm, we rural dwellers were without service. A technician from Bell Aliant came to my home later in the day  after I had called about the outage to inform me of what had happened and that cable crew and police were on scene.  And so I waited. Thankfully,  my mobility scooter was charged. I chose not to lay a fire ‘just in case’. As person with multiple disabilities, living home alone, I have to pick my battles. Safety first and add another layer.                                                 

The crime of stealing copper wire and selling it to recyclers is one crime. Manifold crimes fell on top of that when hundreds of lives were put at risk by that one act of disconnecting people from services they need and use on a daily basis. Not all rural dwellers have access to cell phone service and not all cell phone services function with a high degree of stability in some rural settings. That’s the nature of aging technology in rural areas trying to pair with modern communication trends. As well, that act of vandalism elevated the stress level of those who rely on services like Lifeline which is landline dependent. Not every senior can afford both a landline and a cellphone.

In my reading, I learned that copper may be stolen from electric poles, power lines, substations and company storage yards with cables being cut in short lengths  with saw, bolt cutter or axe, with the  plastic coating being removed, as raw copper is more valuable. 

Copper thieves are receiving cash from recyclers who often fill orders for commercial scrap dealers. Recycled copper flows from dealers to a range of specialized applications on an international scale. It seems like an attractive venture to someone who doesn’t have a full time job and is looking for an ‘in and out’ gig to earn a lot of money over a short period of time, or someone who’s keen to go all in and make a full time job out of ‘cutting the cord’ of anyone and everyone in their community; effectively putting lives at risk! Yes, copper theft can make some people dead. Let that sink in. And let this sink – copper thievery can make the criminal dead if he doesn’t know what he’s doing and is cutting chunks of cable willy-nilly without regard for the steps required to safely complete the process.

  And what do we, their victims get? The medically fragile, housebound, in many cases and having no access to a cell phone, is truly trapped.  A person impacted by the criminal act of copper theft could be their own mother or father, or some other relative or family friend. Do they find their spine, their moral compass and stop. Do they turn themselves in, recognizing that they have to pay for the crime they’ve committed. Or do they keep going, and wait for the law to catch up with them.

Let’s hope the courts will  expeditiously take care of the morally bankrupt who’ve put lives at risk. A slap on the wrist isn’t enough; community service and an impactful fine rather than jail time would be more of a deterrent. Perhaps restorative justice could be part of the process as well. This is serious, people! 

If you see something, say something!

 Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

Credit, credit scores and credentials

Photo: Dylan Gillis/Unsplash

Is the love of money the root of all evil? I don’t think so. Money, for most of us, is a tool by which we conduct the daily business of life and living though for far too many there isn’t enough. Or is there? Is it possible that what those who struggle may really need is guidance, instruction on how to do it -- how to live within available means and how to move beyond debt to credit – personal credit through savings and how to build a profile that will allow banks to take a chance on you, whether for a few thousand or several thousand. When we value ourselves and our principles, it shows in our interactions with others while we pave the way with building blocks that establish our credibility and our credit-ability

Ideally, learning to manage money begins in the home, with Mom or Dad imparting their pearls of wisdom to their children. It’s acknowledged that children learn what they live and if they see parents being wise in their use of money for the benefit of the family and the home, they will carry those lessons with them through their growing up and growing away from home to live on their own. Being responsible for the costs attached to a roof over the head, food on the table and all the other things involved in running a house, a home, is a daunting task and one not to be entered into lightly. One must have a plan. If you don’t have one, consult with people who can help you get on track and stay on task. It will save a lot of pain and frustration later, especially for young people starting out, perhaps with plans to get married and start a family. Trying to do that while mired in debt is a recipe for disaster, a huge hit and run accident waiting to happen.

We’re hearing and reading a lot about the debt ceiling in the US and how default will impact on the world stage. In our own lives, we have a debt ceiling, though some of us try to ignore it. Alas, we can’t avoid it. It will linger there. Walk, Don’t Run with Carla has featured articles about money, budgeting, saving and spending in aid of heightening awareness of the realities of living with disability and how difficult it may be for some to meet the monthly costs associated with independent living. Career options may not be ideal in that persons with disability may not make enough money to live to a standard enjoyed by most of the population. Some may have only one source of income, one provided by their provincial government. It’s a bare bones existence that invariably leads to a lot of anxiety and fear, which in turn cycles into physical and emotional unwellness due to stress. Financial stress is real and it’s debilitating.

Credit is an important tool in today’s economy, enabling people to buy a home or a car, start a business, pursue an education, weather a medical emergency or drop in income. However, those among us with disabilities have less access to credit than those without.

Individuals with disabilities are less likely to have a credit card and less likely to have common types of credit (such as auto loans or mortgages). One consequence of not having access to affordable credit is that those who live with constant stress may not have enough to cover an unexpected bill. What to do? Borrowing from family may not be an option. Credit cards with limit of $2,000 may be a place to start.

Apply for a credit card with your financial institution and have an honest discussion about your situation and what you can realistically handle as a monthly pay-back. Here’s an example: you have a broken washing machine and it’s going to cost $500 for parts and labour to fix it -- have a conversation with repair shop about a repayment scheme. It’s quite a new machine though out of warranty. If you don’t have a savings account, have one set up while you’re having a conversation with one of your bank’s financial advisors. Ask that $40/month be automatically transferred to your savings account. As you pay your bills, dump what’s left over into that account. Soon, you’ll have a payback installment for the appliance repair. Build savings to enhance spending.

Although lots of folks with disabilities work in well-paying jobs, they’re more likely to have lower incomes, lower levels of education, less attachment to the labor force and higher expenses than their non-disabled counterpart. Having a poor or insufficient credit history can be expensive. Generally, credit scores, ranging from 300–850, are calculated based on detailed information in consumer credit reports. It’s never to early to start practicing good habits to maintain financial health just as it’s never too late to repair bad credit.

I’ve spent my entire adult life successfully maintaining my financial health and as a home alone widow, it’s vital that I be aware of dollars and cents with common sense.

Weigh wants versus needs and ability to live within your means as you develop your financial cushion and improve financial health; remind yourself that living below means reaps major financial benefits and can be a sanity saver. It takes time and commitment but you’ve got this!

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

Breaking the cycle of poverty requires community solutions

Law Courts (Andrew Bates)

In the words of Roman author, Quintus Ennius, “Amicus certus in re incerta cernitur” –  “a true friend is a friend when in difficulty”.  How true that is, particularly in these stressful times as we navigate a world that’s, for the most part, post-COVID. We’ve been through it, haven’t we?

Crimes, criminals, justice —  rules that don’t fit, people who don’t fit; people who don’t ‘fit’ the rules — the disenfranchised who live on the periphery and those perceived as the ‘have nots’.  Some have always been on the outside looking in while others find themselves there by force of circumstance beyond their control — job loss, relationship breakdown and with that a collapse of income; funds necessary to sustain costs of daily living.

Post-COVID lives have not been easy for so many who are just trying to keep ahead but still strangled by the typical monthly debt load in addition to expenses accrued through necessity when ‘real’ money wasn’t readily available. It all adds up to lots and lots of trauma. Children, most of all, suffer and don’t always understand the why of it.

Day after day after day we read newspaper accounts of mothers or other caregivers of children stealing grocery items. The court system may be lenient the first time — restitution and perhaps community service with no jail time, but still the problem of poverty persists. That same person may well be before the courts a few months later and the boom is lowered with a 30 day jail term.  The ‘criminal’ sinks lower into the depths of the despair of poverty and gets further behind with bills. Children suffer from the absence of the incarcerated parent/caregiver. No winners there!

So many people fall through the cracks and the services to meet their ‘special needs’ in the short or long term simply aren’t available and the cycle of poverty and a ‘life of crime to make ends meet’ continues. The mental health system could be and should be doing more; the people accessing their services could be and should doing more. It’s easy to lay blame - that gives everyone an ‘out’. The sad reality is that apathy is the villain in the piece and poverty is the real crime and the real criminal. How do we fix it? The situation can no longer be ‘how will THEY fix it?’. Why, you ask? Because THEY are WE. The mental health system and the justice system need to become one, with the common goal of breaking the cycle of ‘a life of crime to survive’. Intake workers need to be asking pertinent questions -- the right questions, not just the ‘little blue book’ questions that are standard to all; each person on their case load may have a host of issues common to a significant percentage of the worker’s total caseload. Perhaps there could be a meeting of the minds, pairing clients to work together to help each other and help themselves.

One of the biggest concerns of the poor is that they often feel alone in their misery, which is totally understandable. What if they could be matched up with one, two, three, or four people in like circumstance and contract, with a ‘gentleman’s agreement’ to move forward together.

Isolation is a barrier that prevents people from connecting to goods and services and those in positions to help don’t always have a full picture of what’s really going on. There has to be more disclosure and those in need must be made to feel that they won’t be criticized for their situation and that they can safely share what’s on their mind about how things in their lives are really going.  

A group of people who are impacted by life’s slings and arrows could meet a few times a week, at the home of one of the group members, taking turns each week,  perhaps inviting a few other folks outside their ‘normal’ group. Including those not exclusively identified with their plight offers a greater degree of clarity with regard to what their struggles mean to all, how their trials and tribulations impact everyone, not just those ‘living in it’. Sharing a meal, such a family around the dinner table does, is a great equalizer which lends itself well to meaningful dialogue on a range of topics, not just those related to “I’m poor because…” With the passage of time, as the group grows emotionally and spiritually, a ‘family’ is born and a family grows. A chance to turn things around is created and with each person doing their part, good things will happen. 

Last year, within a month, two of my siblings passed away; I started out in a family with parents and 7 siblings. Now, we are three. I, an older brother and older sister remain; we are family. I also have another family of sorts -- my Sunday dinner and a movie companion and I are  a family, with our time spent together breaking into the isolation we’d experience on our own. I cook! 

Breaking bread together might be a step in the right direction to cutting into the hamster wheel of isolation, poverty and the cycle of poverty-driven crime. The power brokers and purse string holders might take note and get on board to embrace this new ‘family affair’ with systems of support that meet their needs.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell