A second family death in as many months

Writing desk in Carla's home, featuring the Cross pen gifted by her brother, Ian.

Death has visited the MacInnis Clan for the second time in as many months. Now we are three. My brother, Ian, died on Wednesday, 27 April.

Ian earned a Bachelor of Business Administration degree from the then St. Dunstan’s University on Prince Edward Island followed by law degree from Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia. For many years he practiced law in Woodstock with the firm, Maddox and MacInnis. Later, on his own, he set up shop out of his home in Jacksonville.

The third child and second son of the eight MacInnis children, Ian was an avid reader; the thing I’ll remember about him was his wit. Clearly, genetic, I am similarly possessed of a quick wit. Ian would often call me a ‘Philadelphia Lawyer’. Until he explained what the term meant, I thought he was insulting me. Simply put, a Philadelphia lawyer is one who’s knowledgeable in the most minute aspects of the law. Though clearly I’m not a lawyer, he was speaking of my ability to get to the bones of a matter; rather like a dog stripping them clean.

Ian, along with the rest of us could be found, at different ages and stages, preparing various family favourites in the kitchen of the home where we grew up; Dad supervised the preparation of ‘his’ Manhattan Clam Chowder or French Onion Soup. Truth be told, they were our creations. We did all the work while he wandered around directing how vegetables were to be sliced and diced. It was all at once annoying and funny. Thanks for the memories, Dad.

Years later, Ian would visit me in my home with his wife to enjoy a meal I prepared. He declared that my French Onion Soup was better than Dad’s. Hmm! I can’t remember if I told him about my secret ingredient – a cup of coffee! The cup of red wine was a given.

We didn’t get together often; usually at Christmas when one or another of us was still in university or just starting out with our independent living in our own apartment or house. I remember two Christmases in the late 70s. On both occasions, I received a Cross pen; the first from our parents, a gentleman’s pen with the pocket clip; an added touch saw it engraved with my initials. The second came from Ian the following year; the lady’s pen. At the time, Ian told me that a gift of a Cross pen was a declaration that I had ‘arrived’. Upon reflection, that is very much so. I still have both pens. In fact, Ian’s gift has been in a pen holder on my desk for years. The other, fittingly, is in my purse, to be used to amend the grocery list – always forgetting something.

The gifting of Christmas presents to ‘go with’ the microwave oven I purchased created a memory. Our parents gave me a set of microwave cookware and Ian gave me a set of casserole dishes; the lids were deep enough to use as baking dishes. Both sets are still in use today, having provided years of meals, from breakfast to dinner. Of all the items in my kitchen, Ian’s casserole dish set gets the most use. In fact, I made multigrain oatmeal with apples and cranberries in the medium sized casserole dish just the other day. The largest is used every week to make yogurt.

When I learned of my brother’s death, I paused as I enjoyed a bowl of oatmeal. Was Ian a breakfast person? Did he like oatmeal? I never asked.

As with our youngest brother, Michael, who passed away in March, Ian lived with challenges to his health and comfort. Neither he nor Michael were internet users; I’m not much of a telephone person but I kept connected with phone calls here and there and I always send e-cards on special occasions. When one’s health inhibits the ability to stay connected to family and friends, we find other ways. Technology allows us to stay ‘in the loop’ regardless of distance. We can’t know when our lives will be impacted by loss; all we can do is be appreciative of the time spent and the lessons learned.

Rest in peace, Ian.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell