Memorializing pets who have passed away

Mr. Digby Rockwell, the feisty Australian Silky Terrier

 (8 May 2003 - 5 June 2020)

Do pet obituaries belong in the paper alongside notices of the passing of  people? Hmm!

Ask me and I’ll say yes! To assign value to an animal's life actually enriches our own. The true friend of animals great and small would never for a moment consider doing them harm and anyone who injures an animal has a broken moral compass. Many are damaged souls with deep seated emotional problems that play out in acts of violence towards animals as well as other humans, but that’s a discussion for another time.

Understandably, there would be many who would say that an obituary for a dog, a cat, a turtle or a hamster has no place in the newspaper on a page where the passing of humans,  fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles were listed.

Stop and think about this for a moment. Many of those who died very possibly had a dog, a cat, a turtle or a hamster; creatures that they loved and to whom they provided daily care. How often do we see reference to a Fluffy or a Clancy or a Ben in the obituary of Mr. Jones or Mrs. Smith? The  companion animals left behind when their human passes away do, indeed, feel the loss. Unlike humans, they’re not able to express grief in words, instead acting out anxiety, sadness and distress in physical ways — not eating, not sleeping or sleeping too much, destroying things like shoes and pillows. Some will even lose house training and soil indiscriminately but rarely where they sleep.

Because they openly announce that a pet was part of a family, bringing legitimacy to mourning the pet as a family member, obituaries for animals push against what defines ‘family’ in ways that may offend some people. 

Look at the broader implications. Newspapers featuring pet obituaries are actually contributing to the health of the community, particularly with the senior populations for whom pets were a significant part of daily lives. Those isolated by circumstance rely on their pet as an emotional connection that replaces the human ones they’ve lost; children moved thousands of miles away,  a spouse has died, ability to get out and about easily is difficult and they don’t want to impose on friends, local family or neighbours. So they ‘hole up’ with their steadfast canine or feline companion.

 Across this province and across the country, many have experienced pet loss but don’t share about it, feeling that it’s silly, or that people would laugh at them with the totally insensitive “he was only a dog.” For those whose companion dog died, whether through old age, accident or disease, Barkley or Ben was never “ only a dog”.

In this age of modern technology with with access to all manner of information, how many of us  googled the name of a celebrity dog; Lassie, perhaps — played by Pal, the Rough Collie. Go ahead. I know you want to.

There are lots of online venues where people freely share about their pet when he passes away, Sites such as Rainbow Bridge can give others a chance to see the love you have for your dog. Equally important is that someone who is struggling with the grief over the loss of a pet may find comfort in it as well. And so, I share with you now.

In Loving Memory of Mr. Digby Rockwell (8 May 2003 - 5 June 2020): Mr. D, an Australian Silky Terrier crossed the Rainbow Bridge  after running the show here at Chez Rockwell for the past 13  of his 17 years. A refined little hairy gentleman, he provided many years of companionship to the crazy old baker lady. In recent years, Digger tolerated  the rambunctious Maltese, Miss Lexie, who stole his toys and I think, a bit of his doggy heart.

Mr. Digby got his start in Quebec, though his 2nd language was not French but Yorkie yap, given he was a cross between the Yorkshire Terrier and the Cairn Terrier. Sadly, that beginning was in a puppy mill.

In 2003, he was purchased from a Montreal pet store by a woman who clearly didn't 'get' the terrier attitude. They came to New Brunswick, but he was removed from her home, finding his way to me through my vet, in November of 2007, just days after I said good-bye to Mr. Jake, the Cairn Terrier. Pre-ordained? I think it was!

It was only fitting that, at the end, Dr. Shawn Smith of the Main Street Vet Clinic in Fredericton would help Mr. Digby on his way since it was through his clinic  that the D-man  and I were glued together.

Losing a pet is never easy, but Mr. Digby told me in many little ways that it was time to go. I would have been selfish to let him stay a day longer than he could.

Rest In Peace, little man.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca