[Photo: John Lappa, Postmedia Network]
According to William Ellery Channing, a Rhode Island born Unitarian preacher, “the home is the chief school of human virtues.”
Not a day goes by that we don’t read or hear about some ‘wronged’ person, adult or child, going on a rampage, armed with assault weapons, randomly shooting moving targets who are running for their lives. Clearly, all is not well in their world for them to explode their rage in a hail of bullets.
Parenting children today is no easy task, with the push and pull of almost every facet of daily life contributing to elevated stress levels — children want what they want — NOW. Some parents tend to give in rather than have conversations about the value of patience and behaving in acceptable ways to ‘earn’ the object/toy of their desire. They need help.
I recall, many years ago, making my way through parenting a young school-age stepson, venturing into not totally uncharted territory as I was used to being around youngsters. He was not an easy child, a combination of temperament and circumstance, so I decided that a way to reach him would be through reading together. All manner of books became part of his childhood library. Among them Joy Berry’s series, Let’s Talk About, with each book focusing on a single topic and includes cartoon illustrations and relatable situations. Though designed for pre-schoolers, they were appropriate for my stepson given his situation. The Let’s Talk About books help children identify, understand and learn how to handle their new feelings. It was my hope that my stepson would adjust and grow into this new, blended family. Alas, that was not to be. His needs were far greater than my abilities to meet them. Now an adult, he still hasn’t fully found his feet.
That is why I am a strong advocate of early intervention for children with special needs, unique circumstances and different learning styles, with adults in their world who just don’t seem to get them. That being so, I also believe that virtues/moral values should to be taught in school. They need be taught in school.
A friend, Don Hall, from my alma mater, St. Thomas University, is chaplaincy leader at St. Mary’s Catholic Secondary School in Hamilton, Ontario where they have what is called graduation expectations in all Catholic secondary schools. Students must meet a specific set of goals/requirements in order to graduate; to me, it’s ideal in theory and in practice. In fact, we could use it in our schools — I’m sure parents and teachers would welcome it. Several of the goals include: an effective communicator; a reflective, creative and holistic thinker; a self-directed, responsible, lifelong learner; a collaborative contributor; a caring family member; and, a responsible citizen. Each goal has various individual components which guide behaviour and learning.
Children who are not getting enough constructive conversation in the home, for whatever reason, need access to it in school — the one place where they rely on other adults to help them when they need it. Success in life isn’t just about reading and writing, language arts and maths. One must have the basics of kindness, of caring and sharing, they are to achieve favourable outcomes in other aspects of life.
I don’t think I’d be too far off the mark when I say that, if each school day, in each classroom started with “Good morning, how are you feeling this morning? John, you go first,” teachers would soon realize there is a need and they have an opportunity to fill it. Invite students to share but remind them that others need to have a turn. If there’s not enough time to get to everyone, invite them to stay after school for more conversation. Invite colleagues to participate and explore plans for making these discussions a part of daily interactions with students. Such exhanges could potentially save lives as they allow teachers to see who’s struggling with situations beyond what would be expected. Stabilize the feelings and the learning takes flight.
Character/morals education is not some outdated concept that has no place in school curriculum. It has a very important place in the education of our children if they are to succeed in life. Building character in children also involves including them in the community so that they come to know that what they have to say and how they feel is important.
Morals education is like growing a vegetable garden. The seeds are planted and watered and as ideas flourish and feelings mature, the weeds are pulled away. Imagine if students developed their own real-time gardens and watched them grow. Carrots and conversation go well together.
Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her geriatric Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca
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