Helping hands make for happy holidays

In the words of Jean Vanier “the health of a community can be measured by the quality of its welcome of the unexpected visitor or of someone who is poor, by the joy and simplicity of relationships between its members, by its creativity in response to the cry of the poor.”

Those new to our province who will be experiencing their first  or even a second holiday season in New Brunswick would benefit immeasurably from a helping hand, a guiding hand to lead them  in joining in celebrations of the season. 

Initially, our cold climate may keep people not used to it inside. Moving from warm climes to our sometimes deep freeze winter temperatures is quite an adjustment; coping with it can be expensive if one doesn’t have the necessary clothing - coats and hats, scarves, boots, gloves and mittens. Then there’s the added expense of winter heating. 

Make a date with your closets, grab some boxes and fill them up. What you haven’t worn for two winter seasons would be appreciated by those who have little or nothing. Gather a group of friends to do a purge of your childrens’ closets while you’re at it. Gently used clothing is always welcome by those who have such needs. Make a day of it and bake cookies while you’re at it; creating that holiday spirit is easy once you make the decision to jump in and do it. Inviting a few of those neighbours new to your block to participate in the festivities is a great way to get to know folks you may not have previously taken time for.

When you meet the needs of another, whether known to you or not, you are also nourishing yourself. 

Volunteerism is still alive and well, but it needs constant nurturing. If you have time to spare out of your busy daily schedule to contribute to the emotional health and wellness of others, then do it  — do it for you and do it for them. Making a connection with a new neighbour from another part of the world is a start. Showing them around the neighbourhood, learning about their culture while they learn about yours allows for personal growth. These connections are also ideal ways for children to experience many different things, and that my friends, has an added benefit. It breaks into the bully cycle that seems pervasive in our culture. When children are able to emulate positive role models, they appreciate the differences and differentness of others around them and grow into a pattern of giving and sharing.

This time of year we are most immediately alerted to the needs of those who are less fortunate; The Salvation Army kettles, fund raising efforts of service clubs, turkey drives, and so on. The needs march on each and every day not just at holiday time. Food bank shelves require ongoing replenishment to meet increased demands as more people are relying on them through no fault of their own; the number of children in poverty is significant and your helping hand closes the gap. Stocking the shelves is no more important than at this time of year so that families on the fringes will feel somewhat more included than they otherwise would without access to the ‘safety net’. What must not be forgotten is that our contributions all year long ensure that those among us who are struggling don’t have to work so hard to make ends meet, forced to decide between heating and eating. You and your contributions do make a difference.

As well, lots of school children don’t always have the full complement of supplies that will allow them to complete the daily requirements on par with peers who have no such deficiencies of tools and accessories. Perhaps you and your family or a group of your friends could fill in the gaps by getting in touch with schools in your area to find out what their needs are. Teachers routinely spend their own money to ensure that the students who are at risk won’t stand out any further because they ‘don’t have’. There’s a lot of behind the scenes giving going on by teachers all across this province; without their contributions, the entire class suffers.  Teachers do worry about what happens to Jack or Janice when they go home at the end of the day. While they’re grading papers, they may wonder if those children had enough to eat on the day they took a critical test.

Just as the teachers do, you could establish a group and create more networks of silent partners to buoy ‘at risk’ children, by organise drives to collect school related items all year long and then distribute them to classroom teachers. Contributions to literacy with age appropriate books that children may take home as their own would also be welcome. Again, make a few calls and find out where your hands may help.  

Across time, helping hands grow communities.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

A new year is a chance to do better, to be better

Entering my 64th year as a person living with since birth disability, I must give myself a pat on the head and even a pat on the back; I’m quite flexible. I’m still uprightly mobile and able to function totally and freely in my home with little requirement for outside help, though I conceded several years ago to having someone come in from time to time to help with deep/heavy cleaning. I’m not one to be overly foolhardy, though I have tested the limits of my abilities a time or two. Thankfully, I was none the worse for wear.

That brings me to how things are for me now and going forward. Several weeks ago, I had a conversation with my doctor about pain, specifically pain in my lower back. I was having extreme difficulty putting one foot in front of the other along with an inability to  bend down to pick up the dogs’ food bowls or safely getting into my therapy tub. Anything that involved bending or lifting the legs was very painful. A intestinal issue thought to be contributing to the problem was resolved with a drugstore over the counter treatment. Additionally, the doctor prescribed a muscle relaxant. I looked at the dosage, and given it causes drowsiness, I decided to take only 1/2 the tablet at bedtime; the pharmacist agreed with that course. It’s a good thing I lowered the dose because I slept in 3 hours later than usual after the first 1/2 tablet. That’s been the case since starting this short term, no refills, prescription drug. My sleep-ins have impacted the dogs’ schedule, with elder statesman not being  happy and making sure that I know exactly how he feels. Let’s just say that he’s all about contributing to  ‘make work’ projects just for me.

Secondary implications of cerebral palsy can include a range of arthritic conditions and postural changes that impede freedom of movement.  For that reason, I do a lot of stretching exercises. I learned years ago never get out of bed quickly — been there, done that. I got lightheaded instantly but had the wherewithal to wait it out until my sensibilities were restored before standing. My brother-in-law actually fell doing that very thing. So, each morning, I sit on the edge of the bed for a few minutes before standing. As well, I have bedroom furniture arranged in such a way that I always have something to touch for balance.  While I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, I do a few spine and leg limbering exercises. I encourage people 40+ to engage in soft/passive exercises each morning before starting the day, given that rush-rush first thing in the morning is not conducive to health and wellness and may impact the rest of your day. Slow `n steady gets you further and all in one piece.

A daily thyroid medication and the short term use of a muscle relaxant is the extent of my ‘doctor drugs’ regimen. A few other prescription medication are used ‘as required’ and that is very infrequently. Pain relievers of choice are a therapy tub sessions and use of a heated bag which contains buckwheat. As I still walk, most of my pain is of the wear and tear variety with the spine having a constant dull ache. I’m proactive  and do a lot of stretching exercises with a favourite being similar to what a cat does — fully outstretched on the floor, palms down, then arch the back and go into a sit position, until the buttocks touch the heels. I do this several times a day. This single exercise has contributed significantly to my overall wellness. The dogs like to help.

My point in sharing this bit about myself is to remind you that there are many things you can do each and every day to improve your level of wellness, of health. Those things you do to enhance the quality of your daily life contribute to a reduction of often unnecessary visits to the ER, and admissions to hospital for unspecified illness/condition. Often, people, especially those who are socially isolated, become unwell to the point of hospitalization because they are, in a word, lonely. They are in need of a good dose of people contact. 

Becoming your neighbour’s keeper is as easy as dropping in with coffee and doughnuts. Make a point to connect with 2 or 3 people on the street where you live known to have limited community access. If and when you are able, include them on a few outings. Encourage your friends to ‘adopt’ a few seniors who are isolated. Their health will improve and that means they’ll rely less on the ER coffee klatch which saves money in the health care pot; money that can perhaps be re-routed to more at home programs for seniors. A win-win for all!

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca