What's in your medicine cabinet?

 

Photo: Unsplash

The older I get, the more I appreciate that it is I who is ‘driving the bus’ with regard to how my health/medical care goes. My doctor accepts that, as I age with  since birth spastic diplegic cerebral palsy, I must be doing many things right given I’m not frequent flier with regard to ER visits and hospital admissions. I stay well clear of both and I credit my diligence within the parameters of ‘I am what I eat’ protocols, in place for decades.

  I’ll be 69 in few months;  that I am still upright mobile and independently living is an anomaly in rehab medicine devoted to the treatment and study of cerebral palsy and the aging process. The stage was set for this positive status within the first two years of my life when I was exercised, exercised, exercised. Thanks, Mom (and sometimes Dad, and a few older siblings).

According to the Canadian Institute for Health Information, “on average, seniors use more drugs than any other age group in Canada. This release describes the number and most common types of drugs prescribed to seniors (including those living in long-term care settings) between 2017 and 2021 by sex, age, neighbourhood income and geographic location.”

Think about that for a moment. 

Then there’s this, from Hospital News, Canada’s health care news and best practices:  “one in four Canadian seniors on 10 or more prescription drugs.” Ten or more! If that’s not an OMG moment, I don’t know what is!

Instead of a medicine cabinet full of prescription drugs, I have a vast storehouse of information, decades in the making, with regard to health and wellness, aging safely and well with disability, and the role lifestyle, notably nutrition, plays in outcomes. To learn that most Canadian seniors take 10 script drugs daily is worrisome to say the least. How often does their treating physician call them in for a drugs review? How many are still taking drugs for conditions that have long since resolved? How many doctors are still prescribing long after the drug is no longer indicated because a patient asked for it?  Drug seeking and doctor shopping amongst the senior set is not new, though today’s climate makes it challenging to find a family physician. The province is crying for care. 

I care for myself by opting to supplement, given that persons with neurological insults such as cerebral palsy absorb nutrients far more rapidly than the able-bodied. I've been taking several supplements recommended to support aging well with cerebral palsy. Notable among them is zinc, C, D, magnesium and B12. B12 is indicated for brain health and often prescribed if there is a familial history of stroke. Post-stroke it's been demonstrated to heal the brain. There’s not much in the literature with regard to longevity amongst persons with cerebral palsy, regardless of type, but it’s reasonable to say that the less medicated we are, the healthier we will be.

As with all things, consult with your treating physician before undertaking a course of supplements. The 'normal' body sans pre-existing condition may get sufficient vitamins and minerals from daily diet. We who are neurologically insulted often do not.

  Sadly, a lot of people take prescription meds to ‘treat’ conditions that no longer exist; from a medical/health perspective that is potentially dangerous. What drives the practice of prescribing without real cause? It may set the stage of addiction which could be a deadly path. Opioid addiction amongst seniors is growing. 

New Brunswick has a significant block of senior, elderly and advanced geriatrics, with many living alone, in an isolation which has been exacerbated by COVID. Fear-driven seclusion is now part of the landscape.  What can be done to break the bonds of this ‘held hostage’ mentality? Community companionship may well be the ‘drug of choice’ that keeps on giving without the hangover effect. Loneliness may be the single-most debilitating condition that has potential to cause illness and disease than any of the ‘usual suspects’.

Genetics and lifestyle significantly contribute to how one ages; I’m testament to that. Genetics wreaked havoc in my family with two siblings succumbing to implications and complications of Rheumatoid Arthritis. 

Since my late teens, I’ve plodded along with fibromyalgia, though confirmed diagnosis came decades later when a treating physiatrist felt that presenting symptoms suggested I had, in fact, lived with ‘fibro’ long before ‘official’ diagnosis was named, given that it mimics other conditions, particularly those in the arthritis family, though it is not an auto-immune disease; inflammation is not a feature. Interestingly, it’s frequently found in women aging with cerebral palsy, regardless of type. I had actually read about it in one of Dad’s old medical books, devoted to women’s health, published in the 1930s. So as a ‘dis’ease/condition, fibromyalgia has been around for some time. Sadly, it’s been called the ‘all in your head’ condition, dismissed by clinicians who should be more thoughtful when exchanging with a patient who is obviously in pain and stress. ‘Doing’ good medicine and ‘practicing’ are not synonymous.

Post-COVID, many clinicians have returned to in-clinic practice with protocols of mask wearing and social distancing still in place, others have opted for telephone consults only, and anything that is emergent has follow up at hospital. 

DOING at home on a daily basis is key to wellness.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

Character education has a place in school

Coming out of COVID lock-down has forever changed the landscape with regard to how we conduct ourselves within the community; from how things now function within the school systems, within the workplace and in public gathering places. To ensure health and wellness of all, it’s vital that men, women, boys and girls embrace being a ‘WE’ people. Some of us are disadvantaged by circumstances beyond our control and sometimes need a hand up. 

According to William Ellery Channing, a Rhode Island born Unitarian preacher, “the home is the chief school of human virtues.”

Not a day goes by that we don’t read or hear about some ‘wronged’ person, adult or child,  going on a rampage, armed with assault weapons, randomly shooting moving targets who are running for their lives. Clearly, all is not well in their world for them to explode their rage in a hail of bullets.

Parenting children today is no easy task, with the push and pull of almost every facet of daily life contributing to elevated stress levels — children want what they want — NOW.  Some parents tend to give in rather than have conversations about the value of patience and behaving in acceptable ways to ‘earn’ the object/toy of their desire. They need help. 

I recall, many years ago, making my way through parenting a young school-age stepson, venturing into not totally uncharted territory as I was used to being around youngsters. He was not an easy child, a combination of temperament and circumstance, so I decided that a way to reach him would be through reading together. All manner of books became part of his childhood library. Among them Joy Berry’s series, Let’s Talk About, with each book focusing on a single topic and includes cartoon illustrations and relatable situations. Though designed for pre-schoolers, they were appropriate for my stepson given his situation. The Let’s Talk About books help children identify, understand and learn how to handle their new feelings. It was my hope that my stepson would adjust and grow into this new, blended family. Alas, that was not to be. His needs were far greater than my abilities to meet them. Now an adult, he still hasn’t fully found his feet.

That is why I am a strong advocate of early intervention for children with special needs, unique circumstances and different learning styles, with adults in their world who just don’t seem to get them. That being so, I also believe that virtues/moral values should to be taught in school. They need be taught in school. 

In Ontario Catholic schools, as example, they have what is called graduation expectations. It’s not about advancing the doctrine of a particular religion; rather it’s about developing in students a skill set that readies them for their place in their community as full-time, ongoing contributors. Students must meet a specific set of goals/requirements in order to graduate; to me, it’s ideal in theory and in practice. In fact, we could use it in our schools — I’m sure parents and teachers would welcome it. Several of the goals include: an effective communicator; a reflective, creative and holistic thinker; a self-directed, responsible, lifelong learner; a collaborative contributor; a caring family member; and, a responsible citizen. Each goal has various individual components which guide behaviour and learning.

Children who are not getting enough constructive conversation in the home, for whatever reason, need access to it in school — the one place where they rely on other adults to help them when they need it. Success in life isn’t just about reading and writing, language arts and maths. One must have the basics of kindness, of caring and sharing, if they are to achieve favourable outcomes in other aspects of life.                                           

I don’t think I’d be too far off the mark when I say that, if each school day, in each classroom started with “Good morning, how are you feeling this morning? John, you go first,” teachers would soon realize there is a need and they have an opportunity to fill it. Invite students to share but remind them that others need to have a turn. If there’s not enough time to get to everyone, invite them to stay after school for more conversation. Invite colleagues to participate and explore plans for making these discussions a part of daily interactions with students.  Such exchanges could potentially save lives as they allow teachers to see who’s struggling with situations beyond what would be expected. Stabilize the feelings and the learning takes flight.

Character/morals education is not some outdated concept that has no place in school curriculum. It has a very important place in the education of our children if they are to succeed in life. Building character in children also involves including them in the community so that they come to know that what they have to say and how they feel is important. 

Morals education is like growing a vegetable garden. The seeds are planted and watered and as ideas flourish and feelings mature, the weeds are pulled away. Imagine if students developed their own real-time gardens and watched them grow. Carrots and conversation go well together.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

 

Copper wire thieves steal more than copper

 Photo: Luke Sharrett/Bloomberg

It happened again!! For a second time, I became a crime victim and I am all at once furious and concerned. 

On the morning of February 16th at around 11:00a.m., after my physiotherapy session, I bid the therapist good-bye and then went to use the phone. It was out.  Dead! I went on  Facebook to ask a neighbour if her phone was out; alas, she no longer has a landline but confirmed with another neighbour that her phone along with the phones of a few others was out; they are folks, like me, who are home during the day.                                                                  

Since I don’t drive, my home alone status is impacted by any number of events that would require me to be able to leave quickly and easily. I’m glad that I have a network of neighbours who have, over the years, made themselves available to me should I require any sort of assistance given my mobility challenges.  They ensure that my quality of life is made stable so that I may continue to live independently and safely on my own. In a pinch, I’d not have a problem morphing into a fleece robe, flannel PJ wearing mobility scooter speed demon, to make my way next door so long as I wasn’t up to my bum in snow. Thankfully, today, the driveway is clear. 

My usual but never taken for granted connection to the outside world, my phone, has been severed! Copper thieves were at it again. This is the second such incident within a month. A month!!!

On 18 January, copper thieves struck, impacting the lives of me and many others on my road.  What these persons fail to realize is that they’re stealing more than copper wire. They’re stealing security and peace of mind.

Vandalism compromised the quality of my life and my safety when a person or persons unknown cut a swath of telephone cable that disconnected me and hundred of other homeowners from landline telephone service in the Williamsburg-Napadogan area. From just after 9a.m. to just after 6pm, we rural dwellers were without service. A technician from Bell Aliant came to my home later in the day  after I had called about the outage to inform me of what had happened and that cable crew and police were on scene.  And so I waited. Thankfully,  my mobility scooter was charged. I chose not to lay a fire ‘just in case’. As person with multiple disabilities, living home alone, I have to pick my battles. Safety first and add another layer.                                                 

The crime of stealing copper wire and selling it to recyclers is one crime. Manifold crimes fell on top of that when hundreds of lives were put at risk by that one act of disconnecting people from services they need and use on a daily basis. Not all rural dwellers have access to cell phone service and not all cell phone services function with a high degree of stability in some rural settings. That’s the nature of aging technology in rural areas trying to pair with modern communication trends. As well, that act of vandalism elevated the stress level of those who rely on services like Lifeline which is landline dependent. Not every senior can afford both a landline and a cellphone.

In my reading, I learned that copper may be stolen from electric poles, power lines, substations and company storage yards with cables being cut in short lengths  with saw, bolt cutter or axe, with the  plastic coating being removed, as raw copper is more valuable. 

Copper thieves are receiving cash from recyclers who often fill orders for commercial scrap dealers. Recycled copper flows from dealers to a range of specialized applications on an international scale. It seems like an attractive venture to someone who doesn’t have a full time job and is looking for an ‘in and out’ gig to earn a lot of money over a short period of time, or someone who’s keen to go all in and make a full time job out of ‘cutting the cord’ of anyone and everyone in their community; effectively putting lives at risk! Yes, copper theft can make some people dead. Let that sink in. And let this sink – copper thievery can make the criminal dead if he doesn’t know what he’s doing and is cutting chunks of cable willy-nilly without regard for the steps required to safely complete the process.

  And what do we, their victims get? The medically fragile, housebound, in many cases and having no access to a cell phone, is truly trapped.  A person impacted by the criminal act of copper theft could be their own mother or father, or some other relative or family friend. Do they find their spine, their moral compass and stop. Do they turn themselves in, recognizing that they have to pay for the crime they’ve committed. Or do they keep going, and wait for the law to catch up with them.

Let’s hope the courts will  expeditiously take care of the morally bankrupt who’ve put lives at risk. A slap on the wrist isn’t enough; community service and an impactful fine rather than jail time would be more of a deterrent. Perhaps restorative justice could be part of the process as well. This is serious, people! 

If you see something, say something!

 Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

Credit, credit scores and credentials

Photo: Dylan Gillis/Unsplash

Is the love of money the root of all evil? I don’t think so. Money, for most of us, is a tool by which we conduct the daily business of life and living though for far too many there isn’t enough. Or is there? Is it possible that what those who struggle may really need is guidance, instruction on how to do it -- how to live within available means and how to move beyond debt to credit – personal credit through savings and how to build a profile that will allow banks to take a chance on you, whether for a few thousand or several thousand. When we value ourselves and our principles, it shows in our interactions with others while we pave the way with building blocks that establish our credibility and our credit-ability

Ideally, learning to manage money begins in the home, with Mom or Dad imparting their pearls of wisdom to their children. It’s acknowledged that children learn what they live and if they see parents being wise in their use of money for the benefit of the family and the home, they will carry those lessons with them through their growing up and growing away from home to live on their own. Being responsible for the costs attached to a roof over the head, food on the table and all the other things involved in running a house, a home, is a daunting task and one not to be entered into lightly. One must have a plan. If you don’t have one, consult with people who can help you get on track and stay on task. It will save a lot of pain and frustration later, especially for young people starting out, perhaps with plans to get married and start a family. Trying to do that while mired in debt is a recipe for disaster, a huge hit and run accident waiting to happen.

We’re hearing and reading a lot about the debt ceiling in the US and how default will impact on the world stage. In our own lives, we have a debt ceiling, though some of us try to ignore it. Alas, we can’t avoid it. It will linger there. Walk, Don’t Run with Carla has featured articles about money, budgeting, saving and spending in aid of heightening awareness of the realities of living with disability and how difficult it may be for some to meet the monthly costs associated with independent living. Career options may not be ideal in that persons with disability may not make enough money to live to a standard enjoyed by most of the population. Some may have only one source of income, one provided by their provincial government. It’s a bare bones existence that invariably leads to a lot of anxiety and fear, which in turn cycles into physical and emotional unwellness due to stress. Financial stress is real and it’s debilitating.

Credit is an important tool in today’s economy, enabling people to buy a home or a car, start a business, pursue an education, weather a medical emergency or drop in income. However, those among us with disabilities have less access to credit than those without.

Individuals with disabilities are less likely to have a credit card and less likely to have common types of credit (such as auto loans or mortgages). One consequence of not having access to affordable credit is that those who live with constant stress may not have enough to cover an unexpected bill. What to do? Borrowing from family may not be an option. Credit cards with limit of $2,000 may be a place to start.

Apply for a credit card with your financial institution and have an honest discussion about your situation and what you can realistically handle as a monthly pay-back. Here’s an example: you have a broken washing machine and it’s going to cost $500 for parts and labour to fix it -- have a conversation with repair shop about a repayment scheme. It’s quite a new machine though out of warranty. If you don’t have a savings account, have one set up while you’re having a conversation with one of your bank’s financial advisors. Ask that $40/month be automatically transferred to your savings account. As you pay your bills, dump what’s left over into that account. Soon, you’ll have a payback installment for the appliance repair. Build savings to enhance spending.

Although lots of folks with disabilities work in well-paying jobs, they’re more likely to have lower incomes, lower levels of education, less attachment to the labor force and higher expenses than their non-disabled counterpart. Having a poor or insufficient credit history can be expensive. Generally, credit scores, ranging from 300–850, are calculated based on detailed information in consumer credit reports. It’s never to early to start practicing good habits to maintain financial health just as it’s never too late to repair bad credit.

I’ve spent my entire adult life successfully maintaining my financial health and as a home alone widow, it’s vital that I be aware of dollars and cents with common sense.

Weigh wants versus needs and ability to live within your means as you develop your financial cushion and improve financial health; remind yourself that living below means reaps major financial benefits and can be a sanity saver. It takes time and commitment but you’ve got this!

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

Breaking the cycle of poverty requires community solutions

Law Courts (Andrew Bates)

In the words of Roman author, Quintus Ennius, “Amicus certus in re incerta cernitur” –  “a true friend is a friend when in difficulty”.  How true that is, particularly in these stressful times as we navigate a world that’s, for the most part, post-COVID. We’ve been through it, haven’t we?

Crimes, criminals, justice —  rules that don’t fit, people who don’t fit; people who don’t ‘fit’ the rules — the disenfranchised who live on the periphery and those perceived as the ‘have nots’.  Some have always been on the outside looking in while others find themselves there by force of circumstance beyond their control — job loss, relationship breakdown and with that a collapse of income; funds necessary to sustain costs of daily living.

Post-COVID lives have not been easy for so many who are just trying to keep ahead but still strangled by the typical monthly debt load in addition to expenses accrued through necessity when ‘real’ money wasn’t readily available. It all adds up to lots and lots of trauma. Children, most of all, suffer and don’t always understand the why of it.

Day after day after day we read newspaper accounts of mothers or other caregivers of children stealing grocery items. The court system may be lenient the first time — restitution and perhaps community service with no jail time, but still the problem of poverty persists. That same person may well be before the courts a few months later and the boom is lowered with a 30 day jail term.  The ‘criminal’ sinks lower into the depths of the despair of poverty and gets further behind with bills. Children suffer from the absence of the incarcerated parent/caregiver. No winners there!

So many people fall through the cracks and the services to meet their ‘special needs’ in the short or long term simply aren’t available and the cycle of poverty and a ‘life of crime to make ends meet’ continues. The mental health system could be and should be doing more; the people accessing their services could be and should doing more. It’s easy to lay blame - that gives everyone an ‘out’. The sad reality is that apathy is the villain in the piece and poverty is the real crime and the real criminal. How do we fix it? The situation can no longer be ‘how will THEY fix it?’. Why, you ask? Because THEY are WE. The mental health system and the justice system need to become one, with the common goal of breaking the cycle of ‘a life of crime to survive’. Intake workers need to be asking pertinent questions -- the right questions, not just the ‘little blue book’ questions that are standard to all; each person on their case load may have a host of issues common to a significant percentage of the worker’s total caseload. Perhaps there could be a meeting of the minds, pairing clients to work together to help each other and help themselves.

One of the biggest concerns of the poor is that they often feel alone in their misery, which is totally understandable. What if they could be matched up with one, two, three, or four people in like circumstance and contract, with a ‘gentleman’s agreement’ to move forward together.

Isolation is a barrier that prevents people from connecting to goods and services and those in positions to help don’t always have a full picture of what’s really going on. There has to be more disclosure and those in need must be made to feel that they won’t be criticized for their situation and that they can safely share what’s on their mind about how things in their lives are really going.  

A group of people who are impacted by life’s slings and arrows could meet a few times a week, at the home of one of the group members, taking turns each week,  perhaps inviting a few other folks outside their ‘normal’ group. Including those not exclusively identified with their plight offers a greater degree of clarity with regard to what their struggles mean to all, how their trials and tribulations impact everyone, not just those ‘living in it’. Sharing a meal, such a family around the dinner table does, is a great equalizer which lends itself well to meaningful dialogue on a range of topics, not just those related to “I’m poor because…” With the passage of time, as the group grows emotionally and spiritually, a ‘family’ is born and a family grows. A chance to turn things around is created and with each person doing their part, good things will happen. 

Last year, within a month, two of my siblings passed away; I started out in a family with parents and 7 siblings. Now, we are three. I, an older brother and older sister remain; we are family. I also have another family of sorts -- my Sunday dinner and a movie companion and I are  a family, with our time spent together breaking into the isolation we’d experience on our own. I cook! 

Breaking bread together might be a step in the right direction to cutting into the hamster wheel of isolation, poverty and the cycle of poverty-driven crime. The power brokers and purse string holders might take note and get on board to embrace this new ‘family affair’ with systems of support that meet their needs.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

2023 can be a year of many firsts

 

Photo: Jon Tyson/Unslash

        What is normal?

In the world of a youngster growing up with disability, what is normal varies amongst children within the parameters of deficiencies visited upon them, especially for the neurologically insulted child, such as I was when born in 1954. What must go on in the mind of the mother whose child has reached the age of 18, never walking or never speaking a single word. Unfathomable.

The 16th birthday, a particular milestone enjoyed by teenagers – messaging that they’ve ‘arrived!’ is a difficult day for the parents of young men and women, voiceless and held captive in a chair atop 4 wheels, moved with proportional control, also known as a joystick. How many hear their friends talking about getting their driver’s license, putting in extra hours at a part time job to afford a car of their own. So many things young people living with neurological disabilities may never experience. On many levels, parents do know. They live for their child. It’s often a hit and miss affair with them to overcome the fear and frustration not being able to ‘get it right’ for their son or daughter.

Soon, various grade school and university graduations will be upon us as young men and women make their way further along the path before them. While many young school age girls are off choosing just the right dress for junior or senior prom, the girl who will never walk, never dance, never speak is spending time with her Mom who is trying to find or create something that ‘works’ with the chair. Her date is not the boy who sat beside in her in homeroom but an attendant; it’s all so very clinical, and not even close to being a memory that most teenage girls would want to create. Not memories Mom and Dad want to have, either, but they do. They remember the early years, out and about with their non-walking, non-verbal child, feeling anger welling up when they’d hear other parents chastise their own children for being ‘too loud’, or ‘running too fast’; and the ‘stop that at once, or we’re going home!’. How many parents of non-verbal children wish that just once, their teenage son or daughter would scream at them in a fit of temper, a hallmark of teenagers growing up and growing into themselves?                                                   

These feelings are especially impactful for Mom because she’s the most hands-on meeting the daily needs of a child who cannot help himself. With time and various therapies, skill sets expand. How much is anyone’s guess as each child reaches milestones at on his own schedule, adapting as he grows and goes. As is sometimes the case, typical milestones will never be met, and parents and child grow old together with their son or daughter never leaving the ‘nest’. 

My parents got lucky with me. I was not going to stay home and grow old with them. That wasn’t gonna happen! Thankfully, growing up with 5 brothers and 2 sisters, I spent a lot of time observing how they interacted with each other and those out in the community to effectively learn the ‘rules of the road’ with regard to how I would conduct myself. My take on the world was obviously different by virtue of, at the time, living on the fringes of inclusion.  In my early school life, I wore FDR-style waist high braces and used wooden forearm crutches; then there were the glasses. I was a sight to behold!

Then, as now, there were things I would never be able to do. To fall into the muck of wishin’ and hopin’ was a waste of time. Parents/caregivers need to pay attention to what’s not said by their child with disability, possessed of ability to communicate; with non-verbal children, pay attention to an escalation of ‘bad’/atypical behaviour and ask yourself what’s going on. Have conversation with teachers and other school support staff. If your child is active in after school programs, consult with program co-ordinators. Fitting in and getting along in life is fraught with challenges that can hurt the feelings of even the toughest. But what if ‘tough’ was an act; a disguise so parents wouldn’t worry or be upset?

This year has potential to bring about many wonderful happenings for children with challenges to daily living. COVID restrictions, though not fully gone, as many have made personal choices to protect themselves, have opened the doors to a resumption of many daily activities abandoned during lockdown. Parents of fragile children must always stay vigilant but always mindful of the reality that their children, as best as they are able, have a right to be included in community life even if only in a very limited way.

Letting the community know that you’re the Mom or Dad to a youngster who requires a little extra help or maybe a lot of help to participate even minimally is a way for parents to accept that their needs must be met, too. It’s important to speak up and share your troubles. Helping hands are available and there are always ample opportunities for reciprocity. Folks just have to reach out with a freedom to be themselves and let the community get to know them. 

2023 may be your year to live and grow, challenging yourself to new things, revealing more of who you are to people who may become part of your circle of life experiences. That’s always a good thing.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at  Carla MacInnis Rockwell

How to grow money is a lesson learned early

 Pile of Money (Photo: Postmedia Files)

I was born in the 50s, educated in the 60s and 70s, worked from 70s to date mostly in positions that involved persons with disability and helping them navigate through the challenges of finding their place. My current ‘job’ is that of elder statesmen, sharing what I know about growing up and aging with disability with a broad audience – online! I also share through my biweekly column with this publication. 

Growing up in a large family, positioned near the bottom of the sibling ladder had its advantages; I was able to observe how my siblings did things, including how they spent money. What set us apart is that they could easily go out and about in the community to spend theirs – at the corner store, at a local eatery when students and young people gathered, at sporting events, and so on. I could do none of that. I relied on Mom or an elder sibling with a driver’s license to meet those needs of community inclusion and opportunities to exercise purchasing power. Our money came in the form of an allowance. I remember going to Dad’s place at the table on allowance day to get my weekly share of the ‘family money’. Then I made my way to my bedroom to put it in my bank. I was a saver from way back! 

As they matured, my siblings got jobs outside the home, initially working during the province’s potato harvesting season. I stayed home, where Mom gave me opportunities to earn money around the house, doing small things, like ‘making’ my bed. That was always fun. In my case, chores involved movement, movement required legs. Legs got exercised.  And I got money for walking. While my legs were growing stronger, I was growing my money bank. A win-win.

The earlier children learn about money and how to manage it to make it work for them, the better. Frankly, I’d like to see more community based seminars available for parents so that they may  apply that knowledge in meaningful ways with their own children, especially the youngest. Contributing to chores around the house, whether it’s making his bed or clearing his dishes from the table can be started with a child as young as 3, with lots of verbal praise for jobs well done, along with a big ‘thank you for helping’. Showing a child he is valued sets the stage for him being amenable to expanding his repertoire of skills. 

When my stepson was young, he learned about loans; if he wanted something outside what his allowance would get him, the Bank of Mom loaned him the money. On allowance day, I counted out his weekly portion of the family money, and took away what he owed the BOM. Each week, it was a small amount, so as not to overwhelm his feelings but enough to make an impact. He learned that the money borrowed came from my own work preparing manuscripts for publishing houses in the city and also working for a few professors at the university. I explained to him how much work I’d have to do to pay a phone bill, a light bill, a bag of pet food, or shoes for him as examples of the flow of funds.  He understood the reasoning and was able to stay on track and on task. He became financially aware and more thoughtful about spending.

Being responsible for keeping ones bedroom tidy was a given as being part of the family.  Setting the table and unloading the dishwasher required paying attention to detail, which was more like a job for which there was financial reward, above the allowance.  He was encouraged to save that. 

It’s been my experience that the single-most important thing one can do on their road to improved financial health is to pay themselves first, regardless of income. I continue to pay myself first, deliberately living below my means. When I was single, I took 10% right off the top, before paying bills. When I married, my income was not combined with my husband’s; he was a retired financial planner/stock broker and was impressed at my money sense. When he passed away, part of his life insurance paid off the mortgage. I took out another to do residential rehabilitation to adapt my home to my aging needs which was a good move to further solidify my credit rating. I made lump sum payments to bring down that mortgage debt quickly.

After I paid myself first, then the household bills, including the biweekly mortgage payment, I paid myself again with what was left – bonus bucks! I wasn’t much of a party animal going to clubs in my youth, etc., so I was able to save for things I wanted and pay cash for them. Credit card debt didn’t plague me. A few of my siblings got caught in that cycle, treating credit cards like money, forgetting it had to be paid back.  My best advice is this – save for what you want, then pay for it on a credit card. Then, pay off that card loan immediately. Do that a few times. Establishing that pattern of fiscal responsibility pays off later on when it comes time to apply for bank loans.

Btw, this frugal Scot is mortgage free, now paying the bank of Carla a nice chunk o change every month instead.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell