How to grow money is a lesson learned early

 Pile of Money (Photo: Postmedia Files)

I was born in the 50s, educated in the 60s and 70s, worked from 70s to date mostly in positions that involved persons with disability and helping them navigate through the challenges of finding their place. My current ‘job’ is that of elder statesmen, sharing what I know about growing up and aging with disability with a broad audience – online! I also share through my biweekly column with this publication. 

Growing up in a large family, positioned near the bottom of the sibling ladder had its advantages; I was able to observe how my siblings did things, including how they spent money. What set us apart is that they could easily go out and about in the community to spend theirs – at the corner store, at a local eatery when students and young people gathered, at sporting events, and so on. I could do none of that. I relied on Mom or an elder sibling with a driver’s license to meet those needs of community inclusion and opportunities to exercise purchasing power. Our money came in the form of an allowance. I remember going to Dad’s place at the table on allowance day to get my weekly share of the ‘family money’. Then I made my way to my bedroom to put it in my bank. I was a saver from way back! 

As they matured, my siblings got jobs outside the home, initially working during the province’s potato harvesting season. I stayed home, where Mom gave me opportunities to earn money around the house, doing small things, like ‘making’ my bed. That was always fun. In my case, chores involved movement, movement required legs. Legs got exercised.  And I got money for walking. While my legs were growing stronger, I was growing my money bank. A win-win.

The earlier children learn about money and how to manage it to make it work for them, the better. Frankly, I’d like to see more community based seminars available for parents so that they may  apply that knowledge in meaningful ways with their own children, especially the youngest. Contributing to chores around the house, whether it’s making his bed or clearing his dishes from the table can be started with a child as young as 3, with lots of verbal praise for jobs well done, along with a big ‘thank you for helping’. Showing a child he is valued sets the stage for him being amenable to expanding his repertoire of skills. 

When my stepson was young, he learned about loans; if he wanted something outside what his allowance would get him, the Bank of Mom loaned him the money. On allowance day, I counted out his weekly portion of the family money, and took away what he owed the BOM. Each week, it was a small amount, so as not to overwhelm his feelings but enough to make an impact. He learned that the money borrowed came from my own work preparing manuscripts for publishing houses in the city and also working for a few professors at the university. I explained to him how much work I’d have to do to pay a phone bill, a light bill, a bag of pet food, or shoes for him as examples of the flow of funds.  He understood the reasoning and was able to stay on track and on task. He became financially aware and more thoughtful about spending.

Being responsible for keeping ones bedroom tidy was a given as being part of the family.  Setting the table and unloading the dishwasher required paying attention to detail, which was more like a job for which there was financial reward, above the allowance.  He was encouraged to save that. 

It’s been my experience that the single-most important thing one can do on their road to improved financial health is to pay themselves first, regardless of income. I continue to pay myself first, deliberately living below my means. When I was single, I took 10% right off the top, before paying bills. When I married, my income was not combined with my husband’s; he was a retired financial planner/stock broker and was impressed at my money sense. When he passed away, part of his life insurance paid off the mortgage. I took out another to do residential rehabilitation to adapt my home to my aging needs which was a good move to further solidify my credit rating. I made lump sum payments to bring down that mortgage debt quickly.

After I paid myself first, then the household bills, including the biweekly mortgage payment, I paid myself again with what was left – bonus bucks! I wasn’t much of a party animal going to clubs in my youth, etc., so I was able to save for things I wanted and pay cash for them. Credit card debt didn’t plague me. A few of my siblings got caught in that cycle, treating credit cards like money, forgetting it had to be paid back.  My best advice is this – save for what you want, then pay for it on a credit card. Then, pay off that card loan immediately. Do that a few times. Establishing that pattern of fiscal responsibility pays off later on when it comes time to apply for bank loans.

Btw, this frugal Scot is mortgage free, now paying the bank of Carla a nice chunk o change every month instead.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

All I Want For Christmas Is ....

 

Gifting for Christmas doesn’t have to be about adding another sweater to the drawer, another pot to the kitchen cupboard, another ornament for the mantle. Au contraire! Lots of gifts can be totally clutter free.  For the senior in your world, perhaps a subscription to the daily paper that fixed income may have forced them to cancel, denying themselves something they enjoyed. Another great gift for senior pet parents is a case of tinned food for their dog or cat, or a bag of kibble. Confirm their preferred brands.

My dinner and a movie pal and I exchange uncluttering gifts; she, by providing me transportation to the city as required to accommodate various errands and I, by gifting her with baked and/or cooked goods - breads, cake slices, muffins, soups, left overs from shared meals. She reports that a single take-away provides her with two meals. Unlike me, she doesn’t have the appetite of 3 men and a boy.

Uncluttering gifts, especially at holiday times such as Christmas, go a long way to enhancing the health and wellness of the shut-in or otherwise isolated. Bringing a meal to share is a gift that reaps many benefits for both the giver and the recipient with residual effects felt by the recipient lingering long after the dessert is gone. That emotional connection, if only for a brief period, is one gift that has no price tag.  It should be remembered that gifting in this way isn’t confined to the holiday season. It’s something that people can do with and for each other throughout the year. 

Another uncluttering gift is that of helping a person actually declutter his spaces. Very often, those with physical limitations due to life long disability or folks in physical decline as a consequence of advancing age or illness, or who are experiencing depression, whether mild or full-blown clinical depression, which may send them to bed for days at a time, may not be able to keep up with maintaining living spaces the way they used to or the way they’d like to. Key here is not to bulldoze your way into their personal spaces; boundaries must be respected. Gently suggesting to your friend or family member that you are free to ‘help’ them dispose of 6 months worth of newspapers on the living room sofa is a start. Baby steps. Just keep taking the baby steps until the two of you are walking through the spaces with a growing confidence in letting go of ‘stuff’. 

A few months ago, I spent hours cleaning spaces that I find particularly awkward and a tax on my energy. I finally bit the bullet and purged several base cabinets in the kitchen, taking the ‘just toss it’ approach. Spaces were emptied, vacuumed, scrubbed. What remained was reorganized. My goal, and so far so good, is to establish a rotation of use for various appliances - a metal insert slow cooker roaster is better suited for certain dishes while the ceramic insert ‘official’ slow cooker is ideally suited for other things. To avoid a lot of bending over and reaching into cabinets to lift out some heavy cooking appliance, I leave my favourite, often used ‘slow’ cookers on the counter. Those less or rarely used appliances are given away. Do you have such appliances in your cupboards? You know what to do! I’ve given away a few appliances that after many years of use and enjoyment needed to find another home, to be used by someone who enjoyed kitcheny things as much as I do. A dehydrator is about to be rehomed very soon.

If you have several counter top appliances that you’ve not used in months, donate them to your local Habitat for Humanity store or other such outlet that takes donations.  I had no problem ‘letting go’ of the stuff in the kitchen cupboards. Up next, the ‘cubby’ under the stairs in the den.  Slow n steady! Psst, there is a Coleman stove and two lanterns in  there. Hmm! I am NOT a camper! Call first!

After a friend or family member has felt safe enough to let you help with decluttering, leave them with an uncluttering gift, perhaps a pan of lasagna, portioned and wrapped in single servings ready for the freezer. If you’re invited to join your friend for a lasagna lunch or dinner - accept! That date has potential to create another opportunity for you to take another step in helping with decluttering. Swapping an uncluttering gift with a period of decluttering also has potential for an added bonus - meeting new people. 

Dropping off things you no longer need to various service agencies gets you connected to people with whom you may find a common interest.  Those networking opportunities serve also to break into the isolation felt by and those who otherwise may feel they don’t ‘fit’ anywhere and with that comes improved physical and emotional health and wellness as time away from the ‘safe zone’ is increased. Lapses and lags in physical and emotional health often contribute to cluttering/hoarding, so being able to get out and about to engage in meaningful social gatherings may help resolve a lot of anxiety and dial back the ‘need’ to hang on to stuff. He who is isolated may start inviting people ‘in’ and the reasons for concerning behaviour may melt away.

Perhaps today will be the day you’ll explore a plan to share both uncluttering and decluttering gifts.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

International Day of Persons With Disability

Photo: Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Today’s the day! The International Day of Persons With Disability, proclaimed in 1992 by the UN General Assembly Resolution 47/3 is here again. For many, it’s a time of reflection – what did we accomplish this past year that allowed those who live with challenges to daily living to be more included, to feel more included? 

This year’s theme is  ‘Removing Visible and Invisible Barriers’.

“Rita Ebel, nicknamed ‘Lego grandma’, builds wheelchair ramps from donated Lego bricks in the living room of her flat in Hanau, Germany. The ramps contain several hundred of the small plastic bricks stuck together with up to eight tubes of glue.” 

         A wheelchair user for 25 years after an auto accident, Ms. Ebel saw a need and decided to do something about it. That’s often how a life-altering ‘fix’ to independent living gets started. She painstakingly pieces together community access, one Lego ramp at a time.                               

For folks like me, living with disability is a cradle to grave existence, a life that has to be planned around wobbly mobility in order to stay safe and well. As I age with cerebral palsy, I have noticed changes over the decades with regard to mobility; as well,  proficiency was impacted by a transient ischemic attack last year.  Biweekly physiotherapy provided by New Brunswick’s Extra Mural Program significantly enhances the quality of my life so I may continue to live independently in my own home, in surroundings that meet my needs. Everything as I need it ensures safety while aging in place. Providers of services like those available through the EMP are a huge boost to independent living to the since birth disabled and those new to how changes in health and wellness can impact how they conduct the daily business of living their lives. Every day, many of us have to tweak how we do things as our health and stamina changes.

In my 68 years of living with spastic diplegic cerebral palsy, I have faced many obstacles, mostly with regard to architectural accessibility being the big sticking point in my world. My home underwent many renovations to accommodate my situation, some of them were undertaken in advance of the implications aging would pose on my lifestyle. Grab bars in the bathroom; grab bars along a wall going down to the den where there is an open space on one side, with a railing on the other add an extra layer of protection. Just in case.                                                                                                       

If you have an older neighbour who might need some guidance, perhaps you could do a walk-through and make a list of what may be needed to ensure safe independent living going forward. Being able to stay home, even if alone, is much less costly on health care dollars than admissions due to falls with subsequent expense of care at home.

International Day of Persons With Disability shines a light on what the community can do to enhance inclusion and safe participation.  Anything that is done at the local level saves money in the long term. An emotionally and intellectually engaged person is a healthier person and less of a drain on health care dollars. Finding their place and finding their way requires power of the people. Maybe you’re such a person who would find common ground with someone who moves differently, talks differently, thinks differently, but enjoys company while eating, watching a movie, or going for a walk or a wheel to the park for some people watching. Companionship fills a huge void in the lives of many among us. Including you!

Attitudinal barriers were problematic during my secondary education as well as during my early work life until we, the disabled community, became more visible in the 70s and 80s, with 1981, being the International Year of Disabled Persons. It was also the year that Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer married and they acknowledged the accomplishments of persons with challenges to daily living with a request that donations be made to local charities instead of gifting to them.                                            

Arthritis and other musculoskeletal problems, like cerebral palsy are the most common causes of long-term disability, making up as much as a third of all disability cases. Arthritis is probably the biggest single cause. Three of my siblings lived with the disability of arthritis and its concurrent complications. I live with osteoarthritis of the thoracic spine, often found in persons with cerebral palsy who do manage to learn how to walk. Life is a daily balancing act where I must gauge what I can do that’s necessary to maintain a healthy home and a healthy self and what I can no longer do.  I try not to ask for help often but sometimes, it’s a necessary part of my world.

Discussing disability and other differences amongst us can be difficult, but it is in the differences that the foundation to empathy is found, adding support social-emotional learning, even in young children.

When I’m out and about, my interactions with both young and old are such that they lend themselves to bringing to the attention of the person with whom I am conversing a greater awareness of what living in my world is like.   They leave our brief time together armed perhaps with a different perspective, with a greater appreciation of how they could be helpful to someone in their community, on the street where they live. A hand reaching out.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell