Give and accept help in 2022

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    The ‘coulda’, ‘woulda’ and ‘shoulda’ of 2021 are gone but we’ve got another chance, with a brand spankin’ new year, to get it right. How many years got away from us, with opportunities missed? Opportunities to do it better. Do our part. Pull our weight. Help and be helped.

    Some may feel their contribution would pale in comparison to that of others but how would they know if they don’t get out there and do it! Those who hang back and don’t get involved may well shine in the realm of community service.

    If you express your own feelings about caring and sharing, isolation and abandonment, others might decide to get involved and participate in being part of a change in your shared community, beginning within their own lives, with those near and dear, and with those who are near — the neighbour they really don’t know, the after school program that could use extra volunteers to help children with reading, the local hospital that is always seeking extra pairs of hands to do this or that, the community sponsored suppers that always need potato peelers and salad makers. The list of what you CAN do is endless. The list of what you COULD do rests with you. Mask ON!

    We are a province of aging citizens coupled with a declining growth rate, though there has been an influx from other provinces in recent months. We must do all we can to welcome them. If you’re sitting home alone and are able to get out and about, DO it. Find out what’s going on in your community and see where you might fit. Ultimately, what stops you is YOU!

    I reach out to my community through my writing, armed with the knowledge that my voice may give others the courage to finally speak up, to stand up and ask for help when needed. Within the parameters of my online presence, I make myself available to assist young parents with writing letters requesting assistive devices and services necessary to improve the quality of life for their youngster with disability, guiding them through the maze of often confusing jargon aka gobbledy-gook when they get another denial letter from an agency they thought would help them. The ‘blue book’ needs to be rewritten to accommodate the real needs of real people. Yet again, to repeat an oft-used phrase - ‘one size does NOT fit all!’.

    The gift of availability can be transmitted from one person to another, bringing a community to life, whether online or in our daily, touch it, feel it, hear it lives. Mask ON.

    All around us are folks who used to ask for help but felt they were imposing and stopped asking, plodding along — sometimes to their detriment. Plodded along until the day when the old man who lives across the street from you fell off a ladder while changing the battery in his smoke alarm. One of those ‘shoulda’ moments you missed. “I shoulda gone over to ask Mr. Jones if he needed help,” you said to yourself. Now he’s in the hospital with a broken hip, developing an infection. How long does it take to change a smoke alarm battery?

    In these COVID times, bartering may be a way to help and be helped. My own physiotherapist has had to cancel sessions with me so he could meet the needs of another with issues more pressing. Staff shortages have impacted visits by home health care workers. Thankfully, I’m able to exercise independently – housework!! For those who cannot, perhaps a family member or caregiver might consult with a therapist to learn how to undertake a bare bones regimen for the patient in need of rehab assistance at home.

    Living with disability is often not pretty; growing old is not fun. Asking for help is a tough pill but we have to swallow our pride and just DO it if we are to be safe. Will you DO your part in your community, on your street, to ensure that a neighbour in need stays safe? Perhaps that will be your next moment of 2022.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, the boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell

Living safely in a COVID world demands common courtesy

 

Emergency Room congestion, long waits, over-stressed front line nursing staff, doctors who can’t seem to take enough time to find out what’s REALLY going on with patients because they see so many in the course of a day. These are but a few of the problems plaguing our hospitals and they are not new problems; they’ve been simmering for decades. Tragically, COVID cases have blown everything wide open. 

We can be part of the solution by being more thoughtful about our behaviour and less combative with others as they try to do their job. Properly wearing a mask cannot be stressed enough. It’s vital to cover both the mouth and the nose and not have an ill fitting mask barely hanging over the upper lip. Just stop that at once. You are not being helpful. In fact, you set a bad example to young people around you who depend on you for guidance. Defiant tantruming toddler like behaviour in adults is not a good look. Know that! People you know may see you at your worst without you being aware and opinions of you will change. Don’t be that person.

By nature, some people are worriers, working themselves into states of unwellness fixating on what might happen. Take a breath and relax. If you’re vaccinated, followed booster protocols, wearing a mask and socially distancing, you’re on track doing the right things for you and for those around you. 

If you are feeling sniffly,  holing up with a few favourite books and movies,  pushing fluids and resting may be all that is required to turn things around. Common sense must guide us with thoughtful practices that respect everyone. In need of our utmost respect and positive regard are the medical professionals who care for us, putting their own lives at risk each and every day. Sadly, risk factors have skyrocketed because of far too many self-absorbed posturing with a ME attitude that is dangerous. 

COVID has created far too many bullies using their words and actions as bats. Accountability, in the form of huge fines and not slaps on the wrist, with potential job loss for behaviour that is clearly criminal, must be part of the policing practices put in place to protect everyone. It’s long past time. Not a day goes by that we’re not seeing coverage of assaults, often on airplanes, in restaurants, in grocery stores. COVID is going to be around far longer than it might have been and has to be  because of the oppositional behaviour of people who really don’t see beyond the tip of their nose. That’s a huge problem for everyone around them.

We can be COVID conscious on the street where we live by being good neighbours, assisting those who have trouble meeting the demands and challenges of daily living. With mask properly worn, check in on home-alone neighbours. That act of common decency goes a long way to improving the lives of the isolated. Make no mistake. You and what you do matter.

Exercising common sense also improves mental health as it brings into focus the ‘rules of the road’ some have let slide. ME people insistent on dining out but not following protocols put in place by restaurants should be ashamed of themselves. Screaming at strangers isn’t always about venting and must not be ignored.

If you’re embarrassed and even remorseful about the you you’ve become during these COVID times, a new year with lots of days ahead is an opportunity make changes. Do you want to? 

  Being aware of how our behaviour affects others and endeavouring to self-correct is part of our own healing and growth. If we are to find peace in the coming COVID days and months, we must accept that we have to be part of the solution and not a continued thorn in the side of those who are trying to help us recover a world that once again is meaningful and productive for everyone. Each of us has something to bring to our community to reawaken the lost joy in even the small things. COVID makes it challenging, certainly, but it doesn’t make it impossible. We’ve got this!

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with Miss Lexie, a rambunctious Maltese and Mr. Malcolm, a boisterous Havanese. She can be reached via email at Carla MacInnis Rockwell