According to children’s book author, Polly Berrien Berends, “everything that happens to you is your teacher. The secret is to learn to sit at the feet of your own life and be taught by it.”
In Fredericton, in our province and across this great country is opportunity to learn and to teach. I was struck by this on a trip to the big city several days ago as my friend and I talked about all the new housing developments going up in and around Fredericton, a common trend across the country. I have often wondered if the various brand spankin’ new apartment complexes have a ‘good mix’ of young, old, persons with disability, students, retired, stay at home Moms. That sort of thing. Within those groups would be amazing resources for learning, for teaching.
As my friend and I passed by streets with all the new subdivisions and their rows of bright, shiny houses, many with almost identical appearance on the outside, I asked myself whether neighbours get to know each other. Do they take the time? Are these new homes with the manicured lawns lived in by 2 working people — usually parents with young families? Are others home to retired couples who have downsized from the sprawling downtown Victorian, or moved from another city to be closer to family? Are a few home to the recently widowed who have become isolated, not by choice but by circumstance? Are still others occupied by a group of university students sharing the house for the duration of their university degree program; one housemate moves on, another moves in?
Many cities have certain areas, by virtue of their location, their street address, being identified as ‘bad neighbourhoods’. I won’t name names here, but the reality is that not everyone who lives on those streets, in those subsidized housing units, are bad people, criminals, or drug addicts, or abusers of women and children. Low income housing developments should not immediately imply that the people are ‘less than’, ‘low class’, ‘no class’, ‘users and losers’. We can’t know what life circumstances have invaded the personal lives of those who live in such places. At least they’re not on the street, challenged by the elements and becoming sick in both body and mind. For that, they are grateful. Must their circumstance continue to punish them when they are trying to get out from under, many with a new start, in a new place?
In holding on to misguided beliefs about a person because of where he lives, we deny ourselves many opportunities to learn and to teach. We deny our children. We can’t afford to continue with that practice if we, in this province, are to survive. To grow. Our youth is our future, with some young people wanting to stay and make their own ‘grown up’ lives here in New Brunswick, as we ‘of a certain age’ are moving closer to the finish line of our life’s road.
It is, therefore, critical that we adopt a more inclusive attitude towards the younger generations. Some of them are lost in depression because of their own loneliness.
Living in isolation in all those pretty houses is frustrating happiness and emotional growth across ages and stages, across generations. Think about that for a moment. Back to that young family in the subdivision, with the two children in primary school — do you know the old lady down the street? She’s a widow and has been on her own for just over a year. She no longer drives as she’s developed a nervousness about city traffic. Could you meet her and see if you can help out; she’s a retired teacher and might be able to help your children with reading. Sort of a bartering arrangement. She tutors your children and they get to hear about what life was like for her when she was in school. They stay on for hot chocolate after the reading lesson. Why? Because they wanted to. It gave them an hour or so to spend doing something they enjoyed when they otherwise might have been home alone exercising only their thumbs on their cell phone.
The children want to visit again tomorrow and bring a board game. What a great start to a blossoming friendship. Get the idea!
I am not alone in the belief that the blending of people from different walks of life in subdivisions, in apartment complexes, in low income housing is an ideal way for young and old to meet and get to know one another and not be weighted down by how much money so and so makes or who is driving the best car, the fastest car. The circle of life lives on, on any street in any city or town in the country. We need to gather up a bunch of circles and reacquaint ourselves with lives, not just living in isolation with all our stuff. The happiness stuff brings is fleeting.
Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca
