I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” declares Howard Beale, the news anchor from the 1976 film Network.

With tested patience, I make that same declaration often. Time and again, at various eating establishments, I’ve asked for, recommended and encouraged the installation of  a single  addition to improve the dining experience of the older patron, the patron with mobility disorder, the patron who uses crutches, the patron who uses a cane, the patron who uses a walker, and yes, even the patron who uses a manual wheelchair. And what, you’re asking yourselves, was I seeking?

I asked for one thing  — a grab bar (towel bar) a handle secured to the inside of a bathroom stall door. Such a small thing. Seriously, restaurant managers/owners! That one small thing would go a long way  to ensuring the safety of  your patrons. And being kept safe guarantees they are able to visit you again. Think about that! 

Management of numerous dining establishments in the Fredericton area have been asked — from the ‘greasy spoon’ to the high-end eatery. I’ve asked and asked and asked. Only one, in many years of asking, responded to my request. Yup, that’s right! Just ONE!  So — a huge THANK YOU to The Coffee Mill manager who, several years ago, not only heard me, but listened to me. No doubt along with me, countless others have been reaping the benefits of that single ‘small’ thing one manager did because she saw it as an important and necessary thing!

Recently, my usual dining companion and I visited another favourite Fredericton restaurant for a meal. I decided to visit the ladies room beforehand, and as I rolled along towards the bathroom, I was wondering if the management had, after years of being asked, finally put a bar on the door. Did I mention it’s such a small thing? Why, yes I did! And it doesn’t cost a lot! It only takes one time to fall and sustain a serious injury to totally alter how one will continue to live. Just one time! Just as I suspected — no ‘for patron safety’ bar on the inside of the stall door! Sadly, I wasn’t surprised!

I visited the restaurant while in my wheelchair though the bathroom isn’t particularly wheelchair accessible; it’s not even remotely close to being safe for someone who walks but has balance  issues. I speak with authority when I say that the bathroom in question poses a safety risk to the uprightly mobile disabled patron — paying customers.  Actually, a ‘safety’ bar should be mounted on the inside of ALL the bathroom stall doors in every public building in the city and beyond. It should be the standard, particularly given we have a significant aging population and with that comes decline in physical stamina and mobility and not all use wheelchairs.

An image of a wheelchair emblazoned on a parking space denotes that it’s for wheelchairs users. Taken further, it also affords those with other health issues that preclude walking long distances the freedom to park there. With that image of the wheelchair is the expectation that the interior of the building will be accessible. Surprisingly, there are many establishments where that is not the case, particularly in the bathrooms.

Not all users of wheelchairs are confined to them; some of us can and do walk, and can and do stand up in bathrooms designated for wheelchair users. Our inclination, upon standing, is to balance ourselves. What do we do? We reach our hands out. How wonderful it would be to be able to hang on to something while we were standing ourselves up and then sitting ourselves down again. Hmm! I wonder what would help with that task in a public washroom stall? Ohhh, by George, I think I’ve got it - a grab bar! With a bar secured to the inside of the stall door, folks like me wouldn’t have to worry about taking a header, having lost our balance. With a grab bar, we wouldn’t have to worry about the door flinging open and landing face first on a hard floor, possibly sustaining a concussion.  The black and blue tones wouldn’t look good on me, nor would it be a good look for management, especially if they could have prevented it.

Next time I visit one of my favourite eateries, perhaps I should bring a ‘safety’ bar, along with a power screw driver and invite the manager to join me for a bathroom accessibility check-up.

Or you could! Hey, that works! Ask the manager if s/he’d like to be party to such an inspired object lesson. It’s as easy as putting butter on toast!

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, New Brunswick with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca via email.

Aging in place is the place to be

Just over 20 days into this new year and I’ve decided to carry on just as I did last year — moving forward one floppy, flat foot at a time, mindful that slow `n steady is the only way to go, taking no chances on my safety as I age in place — in the place that’s been my home since 1991. Some have said it’s bigger/more than I need but there’s method to my madness; having different spaces within my home in which to spend time contributes to emotional and mental wellness.  The den downstairs is rarely used, in the way it was when my husband was alive — there was safety in numbers. I may move my laptop down there now that I have an iPad to play with when I’m not at the desktop. My man friend, not to be confused with boyfriend, has been very generous over our time together and he enjoys gifting me with things he knows I’ll use a lot and enjoy. Can’t go wrong with technology! Or kitchen gadgets! I’m still waiting for the ‘next best thing’ to come along there. 

I readily call myself an ‘old broad’, specifically, a lopsided old broad aging with spastic diplegic cerebral palsy — independently living though I’m not home alone. I have dogs! Aging in place ensures a level of security I wouldn’t otherwise enjoy should I find myself ‘having’ to move. Home ownership, in spite of the routine maintenance and inherent costs that goes along with it, is the only way to go for someone in my position. Home ownership is an investment in me and my future.

Quite content to occupy myself with writing, my books, music, and two major addictions  —watching British crime shows and playing online scrabble, my needs today are few. Not a fan of theatres, movie streaming at home is great, providing a steady supply of entertainment with just a few keystrokes. Computer technology and I have a fabulous relationship but I do know ‘real live people’. Honest!  Interspersed with my ‘stay at home life’ are outings to the big city,  trying new eateries and prowling around the malls and other interesting shops. 

Thankful that I’m still able to walk, I take advantage of it through housework. As well, wheeling around the malls, courtesy of an antique Quickie wheelchair keeps me fit, while a fire-engine red mobility scooter allows for safely taking fresh air outside since I can no longer walk any significant distances on crutches and propeling a wheelchair for too long is exhausting. Aging in place for one such as I, with multiple disabilities which benefit from an array of assistive devices, affords a certain security not easily abandoned to life in a nursing home environment.

My current home also caters to the requirements for baking and cooking, both a necessary part of stayin’ alive! Though small, my kitchen is well organised, featuring a lot of counter top appliances which allow for considerable variety in daily meals.  Those who know me will attest to the fact that ‘she sure can put it away!”

Aging in place is the ideal because of how I’ve lived for the past 4 decades; an apartment would never suit my style and very few allow pets. What becomes of Fido with a down size?

Not surprisingly, many seniors who had no difficulty in the rambling old house where they raised a family, are finding that they’re experiencing that scary thing called the ‘fall’. One might think that falls wouldn’t be an issue in a smaller space but they are! The elderly/older person is often still functioning as though he was still bustling around the old house in familiar surroundings. What needs to happen in the new environment is for him to slow down and assess each space, especially if he uses aids like canes, crutches, or a walker.

I’m still able to undertake many daily tasks without need of a great deal of assistance. My biggest regret is that I didn’t learn how to drive; I suspect now it’s too late, particularly given my lack of finely tuned visual acuity.  I’ll just have to continue to bribe my fine friends with tasty treats as I prevail upon their generosity to transport me to places I need to go and people I need to see.

Often, seniors come face to face with the need to move on as a current housing situation no longer fits — perhaps ones declining balance, declining vision and hearing, or lapses in memory may suggest it’s time for interventions and a change of place. Seniors requiring extra supports must be party to discussions of proposed changes.

Remember, new and different can be a good thing!

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca 

2017 has many moments yet to be discovered

“Lost time is never found again.” Benjamin Franklin’s words are just as relevant today as when he first said them.

The ‘coulda’, ‘woulda’ and  ‘shoulda’ of 2016 are gone but we’ve got another chance, with a brand spankin’ new year, to get it right. How many years got away from us, with opportunities missed? Opportunities to do it better. Do our part. Pull our weight. Help and be helped.

Some may feel their contribution would pale in comparison to that of others but how would they know if they don’t get out there and do it! Those who hang back and don’t get involved may well shine in the realm of community service and find they enjoy it as it brings to them something that was missing.

If you express your own feelings about caring and sharing, isolation and abandonment, others might decide to get involved and participate in being part of a change in your shared community, beginning within their own lives, with those near and dear and with those who are near  — the neighbour they really don’t know, the aftershool program that could use extra volunteers to help children with reading, the local hospital that is always seeking extra pairs of hands to do this or that, the community sponsored suppers that always need potato peelers and salad makers. The list of what you CAN do is endless. The list of what you SHOULD do rests with you and your conscience.

We are a province of aging citizens coupled with a declining growth rate. That being so, the need for people to serve, to assist those who are less able to meet their own daily needs, is at a critical mass. If you’re sitting home alone and are able to get out and about, DO it. Find out what’s going on  in your community and see where you might fit. Ultimately, what stops you is YOU!

For myself, giving comes in a form that is somewhat unique, due in large measure to the implications of my own life circumstances. I write. I write about what I know and I write about what I live and I may very well be a voice for many out there who are in a similar situation with regard to lack of access. Perhaps my written voice gives them the courage to finally speak up, to finally stand up and ask for help when needed.

Within the parameters of my online presence, I make myself available to assist young  parents with writing letters requesting devices and services necessary to improve the quality of life for their youngster with disability. I help parents through the maze of often confusing jargon aka gobbledy-gook when they get another denial letter from an agency they thought would help them. The ‘blue book’ needs to be rewritten to accommodate the real needs of real people. Yet again, to repeat an oft-used phrase - ‘one size does NOT fit all!’.

The gift of availability can be transmitted from one person to another, bringing a community to life, whether that community is online or in our daily, touch it, feel it, hear it lives.

One couple I’ve ‘known’ online for several years demonstrates clearly the importance and the  need for more neighbourliness. As my online friend Valerie says, “ we have always been isolated by our very ‘composition' by virtue of accommodation.  We have always been blessed with at least a couple of friends or neighbors who accepted us, but we always had to make the most effort.”

Valerie has Asperger’s Syndrome and Doug, her husband of over 20 years, is a vent dependent quadriplegic. Doug, was injured in a high school football game when he was in his teens and his been a quad for over 40 years! Imagine it! Forty plus years of not being able to do almost all the things that we so easily take for granted.

Quite frankly the fact that they have to ask for help is beyond sad and unfortunate. It’s just wrong! All around us are folks who used to ask for help but felt they were imposing and stopped asking, plodding along — sometimes to their detriment. Plodded along until the day when the old man who lives across the street from you fell off a ladder while changing the battery in his smoke alarm. One of those ‘shoulda’ moments you missed. “I shoulda gone over to ask Mr. Jones if he needed help,” you said to yourself. Now he’s in the hospital with a broken hip and has developed an infection. How long does it take to change a smoke alarm battery?

Living with disability is often not pretty; growing old is not fun. Asking for help is a tough pill but we have to swallow our pride and just DO it if we are to be safe. Will you DO your part in your community, on your street, to ensure that a neighbour in need stays safe? Perhaps that will be your next moment of 2017.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her aging Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca