To reduce poverty, curriculums must change

Students at the New Brunswick Community College's Trade Education Centre (Photo: NBCC)

“Be ambitious on poverty reduction,” was the recommendation of a recent headline in The Telegraph Journal.

I’m confused. Are you? Wasn’t there grand plan decades ago to reduce poverty, to level the playing field, to make lives healthier and happier? What happened with all that? Certainly the poverty rate has fallen to 7.9% from a 2015 14%, but the ever-elusive ‘they’ and we need to be doing more. So much more.

I’m sorry, but this government, like its predecessor, is failing miserably. One thing that many among us are opposed to is the penalizing of persons on welfare who work/earn money/improve their financial lot in life to meet the needs of their family by having their pittance of a monthly ‘social assistance’ check attached. That’s not okay. It was never okay. It never will be okay.

Current and past governments just don’t get it and I’m not alone in wondering why that is. We have a labour shortage because our education system needs a huge shake-up to the curriculum; it was needed decades ago. Bring back all of those vocational education classes — all of them, updated  to mesh with the times in which we live. We need more tradespeople. We need more nurses’ aides, more people educated and trained in nutrition, health and wellness, particularly focused on elder care health management, in the home, given we have a significant population of elderly and advanced geriatric citizens. The ideal and what they want is to stay in their homes. 

Hands on/learning by doing or kinesthetic learning, beginning in kindergarten and following students right on through to grade twelve and beyond may well be the solution to reducing school absenteeism and the all too predictable dropping out into a life of poverty.  Kinesthetic learning is ideally suited to children with challenges as opposed to the traditional,’sit down, sit still and pay attention to me’ model. Keeping hands and minds busy reduces classroom disruptions and acting out.

In grade school, we start with visual/book learning; read, remember, recite — a commonly practiced method for teaching young children where information starts with picture books, followed by flash cards, and then on to textbooks and all that reading, reading, reading and regurgitation. Take the tests, pass the tests and then move on to the next grade/year until the final destintion is reached. Twelve and done! 

In university, the  teaching and learning landscape changes, with a move to auditory learning, most easily observed in the lecture formats of certain college courses, where students aborb information through listening and note taking. Lively discussions further enhance learning and retention.

It is clear that there are certain situations in which hands-on learning is the only way to teach something. There is no use trying to teach a child to ride a bicycle in a traditional classroom - they need to get outside to try out a bike. Many people argue that doing something is the best way to learn about it, rather than attempting to learn about it from a book. No matter how many books you read about cycling, you are still sure to fall off the first time you try! Miracle of miracles, even I learned how to ride a two-wheeler. But then as I got a bit taller, the balance went to hell. I wasn’t terribly proficient but at least I was able to cross it  it off the ‘to learn’ list. Then there was the learning to skip rope, but we won’t go there. I was all about learning by doing. Skipping wasn’t pretty.

That is why it’s important to bring back the full slate of vocational courses so that those who learn best by doing will have a better chance of staying the course and staying in school. Hanging in and hanging on will improve outcomes. The earlier students learn to think for themselves the better prepared they are to forge ahead as adults when faced with new challenges. Reading and writing and learning facts have their place, obviously; there are any number of professional specialised careers that speak to that, but those who part of that stream appreciate the need for skilled labourers who are good at their jobs and enjoy the work. So, everyone works together to make a community thrive. 

Governments, as they budget for education across the province and across the country need to just stop and look around at what’s missing and what is needed to fix it. All hands on deck for all hands on learning.

There is no doubt that actively involving students will enhance their education. However, hands-on learning is always effective when combined with traditional learning from books. When students see that they’re getting what they want and what they’re interested in, their curiosity naturally expands and they will go on to read and learn more on their own. Teachers need to let go and let grow.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her geriatric Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca

Dethroned! My Ms. Fixit crown has been tarnished

For persons with disability, home ownership has challenges not experienced by the non-disabled (NDA).  I cannot mow my lawns, so I don’t! Being countrified, I let them grow wild. The deer and the rabbits and the foxes, oh my, are often seen roaming around the back yard; it’s always fun to watch the deer as they venture closer to see what the dogs are doing in their pen. Recommended as a fire-prevention protection, I do have the back of the property sheared down once a season. I can’t clear the snow in winter, so I don’t! For many years, Wilson Peacock, a lovely gentleman on my road, has been meeting that need. I really appreciate his kindness to me and my dogs;  he goes above and beyond and clears out their pen, making a little path off the ramp that gets covered with snow. Again, something I cannot easily do but I have done it a time or two. Any and all movement that keeps me uprightly mobile is a good thing, so shoveling a bit of doggie ‘do’ off their porch and pen, though not poetry in motion, is a great spine stretching exercise.

Inside the house, I’m able to accomodate the Ms. Fixit role well enough. I haven’t blown anything up yet, having repaired a few lamps and small appliances over the years — once replacing the hose on a portable dishwasher. I can resurrect a crashed computer with a few tweaks. It paid to listen to Stewart, my friend with knowledge of all things computery! If I was more able, with better balance, I think I could really get into carpentry. We need more trades people.

Recently, on a Sunday, I was unceremoniously dethroned and it was entirely my fault. I was cleaning calcium deposit from under the rim in the toilet bowl — a routine task. I also used a screw driver to scrape down into that space in the bowl where deposits collect - the goal was to correct sluggish flushing. Prior to the scrape down, I poured one cup of soda and one cup of vinegar into the toilet and let it rest for an hour. I should have gone for two! I also poured some vinegar  into the over-flow pipe. I learned that trick years ago. Then, it happened.  I got cocky! I should have left well enough alone and gone with the tried and true and exhibited more patience.

Alas, I over-estimated my abilities. I did a stupid, yes, a stupid thing! I used a hammer and ever so gently tapped down into the hole in the bowl. Gently, gently. As I was tapping, I heard what sounded like something falling into the bowl. That wasn't good. Even I knew that! I stood up. Then I noticed something. Water was leaving the bowl and there was puddling on the floor. Oops. What have I done?

Getting down on my hands and knees is a challenge at the best of times, but I had to investigate again. A big towel took care of the water on the floor and it stayed dry. 

Back to the computer, a scrabble game and online chat with the gang from one of my favourite haunts to share my tale of woe. One guy said “You broke the trap! Turn off the water at once.” Two others chimed in with the same instruction. Check. An internet search found me the one company in Fredericton that was listed as open so I booked an appointment for first thing Monday morning. Morning came so  thought I’d call to confirm. It’s a good thing I did — turns out the guy I spoke with the day had my phone number wrong. As well, they couldn’t fit me in for over a week; that would never do! They referred me to Leachman's Plumbing.

Miracle of miracles, the plumber arrived that afternoon. I’m glad they didn’t laugh when I told them how I was taking care of my bathroom needs since I was dethroned. Mr. Digby, the elder statesdog, supervised plumber Terry from start to finish, following him back and forth as tools of the trade, along with a shop vac, were taken to the bathroom. Then the pièce de résistance — a shiny new ‘throne’ to grace the ‘facilities’ at Chez Rockwell. I should point out that Mr. D never barked once. That is very telling of the character of the guy who replaced the toilet that I broke!

Plumber Terry

Suffice to say, the toilet tale was a learning experience. As to my Ms. Fixit title, I have a bit of work to do to restore my status — perhaps I’ll paint something. No hammer involved.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her geriatric Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at  carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca

Why mindful eating contributes to better health

Cabbage and kidney bean soup to be served with toasted herb bread

A winter staple at Chez Rockwell

Where did the notion of mindful eating come from? It was defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn, the original developer and leader of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts Medical School  as “paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”  His book 1990 book Full Catastrophe Living offered guidance on living mindfully based on his experiences with this program since 1979.

In my world, mindful eating is also related to mindful grocery shopping, meal preparation and cooking, using two old broad-friendly appliances — the slow cooker and the toaster oven. How food is prepared and how it’s presented contributes to an awareness of what we are putting into our mouths. Are we eating to live, living to eat, or comforting ourselves with food to combat stress? Stress eating can easily get out of control and requires effort to address. No doubt there are many among us who would benefit from having a meal buddy, someone with whom to interact while mindfully dining; eating slowly, chewing well, and drinking enough water with the meal to ensure healthy digestion. 

Here at Chez Rockwell, mindful eating is only one component of my daily living as I safely and healthily age with cerebral palsy. That journey began in toddlerhood when it was clear that I’d require a lot of nutritional input each and every day, to accommodate carrying my tiny body around wearing waist high metal braces and using forearm crutches. I learned all about the importance of the grocery list back then, too. A grocery list is critical to nutrition awareness as it helps one to ‘colour within the lines’ if items are organized by grocery aisle or a relationship to each other, as a menu is planned. It also ensure less wasted food and money. 

I rely on ‘the list’, to organise daily menus to include 3 meals/day plus snacks, preparing main dishes that are nutritious and accommodate 3-4 frozen servings which makes them both cost and energy efficient. This is especially important for those among us on fixed incomes who find healthy eating financially challenging. 

Being on my own, it’s critical that food preparation be energy efficient, as I cannot know from one minute to the next when my heart is going to hurt and I go into a fatigue slump, or I’m going to feel nauseated, or my eyes are going to go blurry. I still have to eat well. In that regard, I’m very disciplined, choosing foods that contribute to my continued wellness.

Because I drink a lot of water through the day, I don’t always have it with a meal, but hydration before a meal will ensure mindful eating of what’s on your plate and reduce the risk of over-eating. Insufficient hydration continues to be a major concern amongst the senior set. A few glasses throughout the day improves physical performance as well as mental acuity — win-win. So drink up and do the crossword puzzle.

Easy access to information has acquainted us with the Mediterranean diet, which is fruit, vegetables, grains, seeds, nuts and vegetable oils. In essence, it’s also about mindful eating.  A key feature of mindful eating that cannot be ignored — improved nutrition concurrently reduces dependence on a range of medications used to treat various conditions and diseases. The internet is great for gathering information about vitamins, minerals, benefits of certain foods, and how to incorporate healthy eating into your day, but equally important is having conversations with your doctor and other caregivers about how you can improve nutrition with the goal being to reduce dependence on medications.

I’m fortunate to have a lot of help with meeting my nutritional needs. The bulk of my food is purchased at Victory Meat Market where I’ve shopped since the 70s; they provide me with a helping hand by doing the shopping for me, based on a list I email to them. The fatigue factor associated with aging with cerebral palsy doesn’t allow me to do a big shopping on my own. I have to really think about what I need and what I’m going to prepare as the list is developed, though sometimes I miss a few things. That shopping trip takes care of almost 2 months worth of shopping. Then the batch baking and cooking begins, filling up the chest freezer as previously prepared meals in stackable containers are moved to the fridge freezer. 

Mindful eating, with its various components, has served me well for decades and I am confident that I will continue to do well, home alone, with many years of fine dining ahead.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her geriatric Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca

On demand hospital food a great idea

From the Chez Rockwell kitchen - sweet n sour beef and veggie stir fry

My relationship with hospital food is limited, as my last extended stay was in the early  80s at the then Northern Carleton Hospital in Bath, NB; incarcerated, trapped for a full month recovering from a dislocated elbow thanks to tripping over a black cat in a darkened hallway in my apartment. Hospitalization was the only viable solution as I could not safely be on my own during recovery; having an out of commission arm compromised my upright mobility within the parameters of living with cerebral palsy. During hospitalized recovery, I would require the same intake of food as I would at home. 

The food wasn’t all that bad, but times are different now, with far too much prepackaged and heat `n’ eat fare that is not terribly appetizing, negatively impacting the hospitalized patient experience.

Before modern medicine, at-home prepared food was the only tool to promote healing or provide comfort. As time passed, there was a separation of food and medicine and food AS medicine.  Modern wellness trends embrace pharmacology and various therapies to enhance the body’s ability to move (physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and so on). What if we came to realize that improved nutrition would reduce pain, improve mood and enhance sleep quality? No miracle drugs required and with proper planning through investigation, eating well isn’t going to break the bank, especially if one breaks bread with others or several others  —friends and cost-shared food is a great prescription for improved health all around.

My own mother took a page from those 19th century notions, filling me up with soups, custards, rice puddings, bread puddings, milkshakes with bananas; the goal was weight gain, as I was diagnosed with ‘failure to thrive’ — one of the many labels attached to infants, toddlers and youngsters growing up with cerebral palsy. Today, I love to cook and bake and I love to eat. My latest thing is a fabulous cabbage and kidney bean soup laden with other healthy veggies. Want the recipe? Get in touch! 

If flavourful soups instead of ‘foods’ that are barely identifiable, were served in hospitals, patients would be more inspired to eat them. There’d be less waste. Think about how much food tray waste there is in hospitals across the province, across the country. Then assign a ballpark dollar value to that waste.  It's no wonder on-demand food service is gaining traction in many provinces across the country. Hospital management in this province has a duty to embrace a better, more palatable model that demonstrates that they really do care about patient health and wellness.

What is food? In my world,  a smoothie is food. In the hospital setting, a veggie and fruit laden smoothie would significantly contribute to stepped up nutrition, particularly for the malnourished senior, who often goes into hospital with compromised nutrition and leaves after ‘recovery’ still malnourished because they just couldn’t eat ‘that horrible hospital food’. When my late husband was a patient at the Chalmers Hospital in Fredericton in 2007, Dr. Sydney Grant asked me to provide them with smoothie recipes, so the staff could introduce them to pique the interest and taste buds of  patients who were struggling to eat.

Food offerings need not be constrained by time of day. In the absence of dietary restrictions, if Mr. Jones wants a salad and smoothie for breakfast, that’s what he should have. If Mrs. Brown wants a bowl of oatmeal and a side of toast and peanut butter for dinner, she should have it, no questions asked. She might even enjoy apple slices with a few pieces of chocolate on the side. Making real, palatable, fresh foods available will reduce the numbers of the malnourished. Rule of thumb: fresh is best. On-demand food service WILL cut costs and improve patient outcomes. The number of malnourished will decrease. Education about nutrition can be structured so patients can take home with them tricks and tips for healthy eating post-hospitalization. That practice alone would contribute to reducing repeat admissions, therefore reducing costs.

It’s time for the powers that be to look to better ways to DO good medicine and that includes food offerings. Healthy eating is part of recovery from trauma to the body, whether through illness or during post-op healing, so we really are what we eat. If we don’t like what we ate at our local hospital, we must communicate our concerns to effect change. After all, our money helps pay the bills.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her geriatric Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca

A home of many brothers, and sisters, too

Yes, this is a family

A few years ago, I read an article that caught my attention with the opening comment by Maureen MacEwen, Provincial Co-ordinator for P.E.I. Child Protective Services — “Canada is having a foster care crisis, with so few people willing to serve that one province is preparing to house infants in group homes if necessary.”A sad commentary on how significantly this ‘social program’ has deteriorated, but it’s been simmering dry for years. It was inevitable.

In the 70s, ‘group home’ was a label, a name assigned to a home where the ‘mentally retarded’ lived. Over time, terminology changed but the prevailing attitudes still existed. So while it’s all well and good for the government to consider placing infants who are in foster care into ‘group homes’, there should be serious thought given to a long-term plan. Children, no matter the age, cycling around the foster care system from one ‘home’ to another, weeks at a time, months at a time, a few years at a time, has never been the ideal. Lack of continuity of care does cause emotional trauma as has been demonstrated. There is no need to throw money at more studies to prove the proven. Put the money where it’s needed - into HOMES; not just structures to ‘house’ children in need, children in crisis.

Children go into care for many reasons — it’s a sad reality that many cannot go back to the house where the biological parent(s) live, but the system sometimes seems to miss the mark when stepping in to remove a child or children from the biological family. Certainly, the child’s welfare is critical, but there needs to be a stronger emphasis on correcting what has gone wrong with the parenting/caregiving. Do the parents want help? Will they accept help that’s offered and follow through and not just go through the motions to ‘get the kid back’? A child is not a piece of property to be passed around like an ugly piece of furniture no one really wants, but someone will take it, even if only to fill that corner of the living room until something better comes along. Again, a sad commentary on our ‘throw away’ society. 

If parents in crisis were buoyed up to the point where they could stand on their own, moving forward, there’d in all likelihood be fewer children ‘in care’. If, without judgment, they were shown how to guide their children with less stress and less mess, the entire family dynamic has potential to change and self-correct. Not unlike many families outside the view of government scrutiny. Lives of families all across Canada go on, day after day as Moms, Dads, brothers and sisters live, work and play and parenting styles and welfare of children are not questioned. That’s the way life has rolled along for centuries.

For some families, something gets fractured and outside help is needed, sometimes court sanctioned. Given that children learn what they live, parents with proper tools have a chance to break a cycle and with that the notion of the ‘bad kid’ label fades. When parents who want to learn and grow see the fruits of their labour manifesting in the forward-moving behaviour of their children, all are winners. Instead of the ‘system’ patting themselves on the back, social workers and others need to respectfully acknowledge the efforts of parents and children in crisis. There’s too much focus on what’s wrong and not enough on what’s right and good.

If the parental unit is irrevocably broken, then a long-term ‘forever home’ elsewhere would be pot of gold for children in need. We hear so much about animal shelters wanting ‘forever homes’ for dogs and cats available for adoption. If children cannot be adopted, for whatever reason, would they not be better served in long-term home life situations, rather than short-term ‘foster’ care? Would studies to look into repurposing vacant buildings/heritage properties across the country have merit? 

Imagine being in a foster home and 3 days before Christmas, you’re moved. No explanation. Then April rolls around and you’re moved again, out of the district, with a different school Starting over. Then again in July! Multiply that scenario by thousands of kids every year, and we see a very serious problem. No wonder foster kids have a difficulty with trust and can’t settle in to ‘good’ behaviour, often falling onto the path of drug addiction, promiscuity, unwanted pregnancies, as history repeats itself. It’s time to change the care plan and explore the potential for success of a home for ‘a group’ - a group of youngsters that can, with supports become a family. “He doesn’t look like me, but he’s my brother!” Homes such as this would be not unlike the L’Arche community of group homes, but tailored for children from the very young to late teen who need long-term ‘Mom and Dad’ guidance. Think of the possibilities. 

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her geriatric Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca

Caregivers need care, too. They're exhausted.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” These words of E.M. Forster resonated as I watched the documentary about Linda Rondstadt, whose music I continue enjoy decades after she came on the scene.

Ronstadt made the decision not to take the medication used to treat the Parkinson’s disease with which she was diagnosed in 2013, though she’d been symptomatic for several years, noticing changes in her voice as far back as 2000. The drugs she was prescribed caused nausea and vertigo, which is a risk one takes in trying to to tailor a regimen of currently popular medications to treat conditions that alter physical, emotional and mental health. 

Unfortunately, drugs used to Parkinson’s and cerebral palsy often have side effects that significantly impact daily life, setting the stage for a life that is not as enjoyable as it could and would be without being too sedated/medicated. Like Ms. Rondstadt, I am not a shut-in. I prefer to think of myself as ‘snuggled in’, particularly in winter months, when mobility is hampered by ice and snow.

Ms. Rondstadt and I also have another thing in common — we have to pick our battles, deciding what we want to accomplish on any given day. Living in our worlds is exhausting. Make no mistake about that. She’s advantaged by having access to lots of hands on help with the day to day, while here at Chez Rockwell, I do most on my own, under the watchful eyes of two aging canines. If I fall down and go boom, who are they gonna call?

The diagnosis of progressive supranuclear palsy, a severe form of Parkinsonism with brain wasting, ultimately found its way into Ms. Rondstadt’s medical profile. My eldest sister, who passed away in 2012, lived with PSP during the last several years of her life and cost of her care was significant. PSP is a cruel disease. In many respects, she was far more disabled than I ever was. Thankfully, my healthy lifestyle has contributed to my continued independent living.

As we chart a course for what’s to come in 2020, it is my hope that the medical community, from doctors and nurses to providers of at home care adjust their vision to include the critical need of support for caregivers who happen to be related to the person requiring extra attention and assistance. It’s no easy task being the spouse, partner or parent of a person living with disability, particularly for parents raising children with special needs. It’s expensive. Very often, the costs associated with caregiving come out of the ‘family pot’, compromising the financial health of the rest of the household. When children age out of systems of care that were subsidized, it falls upon parents and families to pick up the slack, so they often have to cut back in other areas of daily living. If there are other children in the home, their accustomed lifestyle is often the first to get cut. Not fair.

Our government needs to rethink what caregiving really is and that paying family members who provide care is one very significant way they can let its citizens know that they are of value and their lives matter. The physicial, emotional, mental and financial cost of caregiving is significant and in the end it’s counter-productive when what a family member is doing to help another is actually hurting themselves. No winners. A monthly allowance provided to each family who currently provides home care to a family member who cannot look after his own needs due to illness, condition or disease, would go a long way to reducing the overall burden on systems across the board. Think about it. Do the math. Many countries around the world have developed schemes that provide familial caregiver allowances.

As well, the government must be mindful of one key point. In reality, there’s no such thing as government funded; it’s tax payer funded. People are only asking for what they rightfully deserve as contributors to the government pot that assists everyone. You’re seeing the logic, right?

Caregivers are exhausted and they don’t often reach out, isolating themselves to the point where no one outside their daily world has a full appreciation for what’s really going on behind closed doors. The daily routine of caregiving, day in and day out for years, for decades, takes a toll. Financial packages available to families in need is the right thing to do if our society hopes to flourish into this coming decade and beyond.

As the days of 2020 start rolling out, perhaps all those local, provincial and national programs of health and wellness support will stand on common ground and finally DO the right thing for those who need a hand up. It’s time.

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her geriatric Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca

A clear vision ahead for happiness in 2020

Photo: Andrew Seaman/Upsplash

As we approach this new year, 2020, full of hope and promise, I find myself reminded of what a major effort it is for so many of us to ‘just keep on going’; to be happy. Persons with orthopaedic disability, who are able to function with some degree of mobility, exhaust themselves physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually each and every day, perhaps questioning the ‘why’ of their existence. Caregivers are struggling with their own demons of fatigue, frustration, fear, anger, and even resentment. They can’t give up. They can’t give in. In their minds, failure means defeat. How wrong they are!

Government systems of support must take a closer look at what the long term, real needs are for both those who require in-home help on a daily basis and those who provide it — doctors, nurses, health professionals generally, teachers, pastoral care workers. Respite for caregivers, often a parent or sibling, is paramount. They are the often ‘tapped out’ resource that never get enough acknowledgement or ongoing support.

From early on, if I was to be a happy person, accepting myself as I was would be necessary so that I could develop the gifts I may not otherwise possess had I not acknowledged that my ‘different’ness was nothing to be ashamed of, to wish away, or to ignore. In reality, ignoring it was never an option. I liken my differentness to a companion who will be with me forever; a part of everything I did, from rising in the morning to going to bed at night. My companion’s name is cerebral palsy Perhaps, in large measure, my companion would define my character, shaping the stuff of me that would ultimately be the best of me. 

I had to accept that my life was going to be different --- not in a negative way, not special — just different. I certainly never wished to be someone else, though I did wish that I was more able in terms of mobility, as in being so, I’d have possibly been more readily included, particularly in the formative years when children are establishing bonds and social networks.  In being more physically able, my career choices would have been expanded, but would things have gone differently? Who knows? There were and are always going to be things that I will never do by virtue of living with cerebral palsy. I don’t use the term ‘have’ when speaking of my ‘companion’. 

Too often, people define happiness based on what others bring to them or share with them, whether it be the tangible or the intangible. Sitting back and waiting for happiness to come to us is wasteful of time and energy which could be better spent creating our own happiness and simultaneously spreading that  happiness around us, to siblings, to friends, to colleagues, to a spouse/partner. Happiness flows out, flows around, then flows back after bumping about to touch others; a complete circle. 

We who live with limitations to full participation in daily life learn ways to participate and create a unique happiness; this is, of course, contingent upon whether our intellect is intact and if we have even a limited awareness of our surroundings. It’s long been acknowledged that even the most profoundly disabled, in the absence of full cognition, can still experience happiness. Happiness is not something that should be weighed or measured, as what makes me happy may not make another happy. It should not be our job to ‘make’ another person happy – to position ourselves as a ‘happy maker’ has potential to be exhausting; ultimately, it may well destroy relationships. 

Frequently, I have heard people say that they wish they were happier, which begs the question – what do they believe could or would make them happy, happier? Sadly, in this ‘stuff’ driven age, people assign a happiness quotient to the quantity of their accumulated ‘stuff’ – I was almost a victim of that thinking until I abandoned it years ago. Certainly, I enjoy an array of creature comforts, some by necessity to make my life easier as I age with a number of disabling conditions. I also enjoy a number of things that don’t fall within the necessities of life purview – fine scotch, fine foods, my books and music, pleasant décor; as with all things, never anything to excess. To coin an oft-used phrase – all good things in moderation. That has defined my life from the outset with regard to establishing my selfhood, my personhood – moderation. 

As you chart your own course going into this new year and beyond, keep your eye on your own prize. Your happiness is inside you — take some time to find it and help it grow! 

Carla MacInnis Rockwell is a freelance writer and disability rights advocate living outside Fredericton, NB with her geriatric Australian silky terrier and a rambunctious Maltese. She can be reached via email at carmacrockwell@xplornet.ca